Naruto the Combat Butler
by Tama Saga
Summary: It takes something special to become a combat butler. Okay, several special things. First you need to be adaptable to ever-changing situations. Second, you need the skills serve a mistress who's going to be richer and smarter than you, but really gullible. Third, you need a propensity to die young. Wait, that last point sounds wrong somehow. [Rebooted 10/26/2013]
1. The Basics

_A hero to sad girls everywhere...It's not true, but it is kinda catchy._

-o-o-o-

* * *

I don't own Naruto or Touhou. They are owned by Masashi Kishimoto and ZUN respectively. I am borrowing their characters and their setting without their permission to tell a story.

If the story proceeds and ends how I think it will, there will be suggestions but there won't be any definitive pairings. It's because I think that Naruto would benefit more from being a big brother than a romantic interest in this story. I could be wrong but I haven't gone far enough to figure it out yet. However, I can state this with certainty...Hinata lovers, please leave now. Hinata will have her moments but she will NOT be a heroine.

-o-o-o-

* * *

**Naruto, the Combat Butler**  
by Tama Saga

-o-o-o-

* * *

Chapter 1: The basics!

-o-o-o-

* * *

(The Present)

He winced. Currently, he was trussed up tighter than a nin undergoing interrogation. If only he could...bring his...hands...together...

Gyaaah! It hurt! The rough fraying ropes digging painfully into his arms and legs hurt!

His mouth was uncovered, but that was probably because they wanted to hear him scream.

As he struggled to escape, a crimson spear wiggling from the other end of the room bathed the entire area in a brilliant red glow. It also served as a reminder of just how much time he had left.

He couldn't help but wonder...

_...how did it come to this?_

Of course, there was no answer.

The room that he was in was a bit on the long side. Bordering one of the mansion's walls, one could easily see that it was still nighttime outside from the seven windows, each spaced widely apart. It was a plush room without the elegances normally found in a mansion, as it was one of many unused rooms. Despite its empty status however, the fairy maids still entered the room once a week to make sure that it was dust free.

Standing at the other side of the room, a responsible older sister was happily giving last-minute instructions to her younger sister.

The older sister, Remilia Scarlet, was a petite blue-haired vampire dressed in a tattered pink dress withy varying degrees of burn marks at several points along the hem. Her normally present mob cap was missing. She had a pair of bat wings on her back.

The younger sister dressed in red, Flandre Scarlet, had short blond hair with a ponytail tied on one side. Her ponytail appeared a bit singed on the end. Unlike Remilia, she was wearing her mob cap. However it looked a bit dirty. Unlike her sister's bat wings, Flandre had a nontraditional pair of wings with prism shards of different colors.

As for the instructions, it went something like...

"Okay Flan. Let's see how you do now," with that, a heavily scuffed up Remilia Scarlet finally released her grip on her spear.

"..." the slightly shorter blond-haired girl just stood there, staring at the the glowing red shaft held between her hands.

After a moment of inactivity, the blue-haired vampire broke the silence. "It appears that you have a question. Please allow your wise onee-sama to enlighten you."

"What if I miss?" Flandre asked in a worried voice.

"Oya?" an amused expression appeared. "I assure you, Gungnir will always hit its mark," the vampire in pink proudly stated.

Flandre grinned and nodded. "Ah, okay Onee-sama! May I throw it now?"

"By all means, go-"

Still unable to free himself, and no time left, Naruto did the next best thing. "WAIIIIT!"

"..." Thankfully they did.

And now it was time for his defense. "I'll die -ttebayo!"

"So?" It was Remilia that had replied, but from the look on their faces neither of the vampires could figure out why that was a bad thing.

"Flan-chan! Ask the **Old Hag **about that-gyaaaah!"

"Hmm?" Flandre tilted her head cutely in thought for a moment before the proverbial lightbulb appeared on her face. "But Onee-sama...what about your request?"

"Repeat what you just said. Please. I must hear it again." Remilia purred menacingly to the boy as she lifted him into the air with one hand by the front of his jumpsuit. You couldn't tell, but she was enjoying this. Remilia herself wasn't very tall, so she couldn't just do this to anyone. Fairies came to mind if you wanted someone shorter than the vampire. But they generally tended to stay away when the bluenette was on the warpath. This stupid boy, on the other hand, was not just shorter...he also wasn't shy about confronting her. A foolish measure, to be sure. But...

With her other hand, she had the boy's throat in her grasp. And she started to apply pressure as he started to choke.

Thankfully for Naruto, she had heard her younger sister's question as she blinked and turned towards Flan with a wide twitching smile on her face. "What's that? What request?"

She lightened her hold just enough for him to breathe again. He gratefully sucked in what oxygen that he could. Then she applied pressure again.

"The one where..."

"What request?" The older vampire interrupted as a blond boy started struggling in the background.

"The one..."

"What request?" The older vampire interrupted again as she squeezed a bit harder. Tthere was a poof of smoke and whatever clothing she was holding slipped from her grasp when it seemed to disappear with the smoke.

When the smoke cleared, both vampires were treated to the sight of a naked boy being suspended in midair by a chokehold.

Everything went still. Even Naruto seemed to have forgotten that he was choking to death.

"Ahahahaha, so tiny!" Flandre's uproarious laughter broke the silence.

"Disgusting!" Remilia said at the same time as she threw it away with a grimace. There was a "Gack!" when it slammed into the wall before toppling onto the floor.

"*cough* Hey!" Naruto protested in outrage as tears appeared in his eyes. That was just cruel! "Gyaaaah!" Only to scream out in pain as Remilia knocked him over with a kick before stomping on the rope right where his stomach would be. Her heel dug in deep.

"Quiet from the peanut gallery." The bluenette ordered before a thoughtful expression appeared on her face. "That request huh? Hmm..." she paused, as if considerinrg it briefly. "Alright, if the intellectually challenged amoeba has the brilliance and courtesy to actually jump in front of Gungnir, I won't count this time against you."

"Hey, someone just said something rude about-Agh!" He let out a shriek when the foot pressed down harder.

"Really? But..."

Remilia made a tsking noise as her foot left the boy and she started walking toward her younger sister. "Flan-chan, you're holding Onee-sama's prized Gungnir within your hands. Don't you want to play with it?"

"Yes!" Flandre shouted, nodding eagerly from excitement.

"Then why are you wasting time asking your beloved Onee-sama questions instead of throwing Gungnir at the worm?"

Flandre had a chastised look on her face. "I'm sorry Onee-sama. I'll do as you say." She started to raise the glowing spear above her head.

"Wait wait wait!"

"Hush you noisy fool," Remilia snapped.

"The apple? Where's the apple?!" Naruto shouted in desperation, intelligently ignoring the order.

His bravery was rewarded. "What apple?" Remilia returned, confused.

"You told Flan-chan that you wanted her to try target practice against an apple!" came the hurried reply as Naruto took advantage of her slight interest and confusion.

Flandre lowered the spear again prompting a quiet tsk from her sister and a happy grin from the boy. "That's right! Onee-sama said that we had plenty of apples from this fall's harvest and that we could try destroying a few for fun!"

"Oh dear. How could I have forgotten." the charismatic vampire said in a monotonic and rather unconvincing manner. As if she had hoped that a certain remembered detail had been forgotten. She snapped her fingers, "Sakuya!"

"Yes!" a silver-haired maid, whose pristine clothes provided a stark contrast to her scuffed appearance, appeared immediately, carrying an ordinary apple. "Here is the apple."

"Wonderful Sakuya, as impeccable as always. Now then, **silence the flatworm**."

Naruto quickly snapped his mouth shut. And then he struggled to keep it shut as the maid leaned over and squeezed his cheeks hard as she tried to pry his mouth open.

"This is going nowhere." Remilia muttered. Impatient, she decided to help the process along. "Shrimp."

As expected, a tick mark appeared on the hapless boy's forehead. "OLD HA-MMMMPH!"

In one stroke, the blond haired boy was interrupted by an ordinary apple being wedged deeply into his mouth.

Satisfied, Remilia started to back away. "Now that we have our apple, I have one thing that I wish to add, Flan. It's so weak that just tapping it will destroy it. Since it is useless trying to keep it in one piece, **just throw Gungnir as hard as you can**."

A giant grin filled the blond girl's face as she raised the spear over her head. "Okay Onee-sama!"

"MMMMMPH!"

_Seriously?! How did it come to this?!_

-o-o-o-

* * *

(5 Hours Ago)

It was the hour of the night when most would call it a day and head for bed.

Naruto was no exception. After banging the pipes several times to no avail, he settled with shivering in a cold shower. Afterwards, toothbrushing complete, he was about to climb into bed when he paused and checked the weapons pouch that he had strapped around his waist.

Three blunt and worn kunai and one tattered academy-grade explosive tag. He had to sigh at that. If only he had access to the better stuff. But beggars can't be choosers. Looking around for anything else he could carry, his eyes fell upon a scroll.

...

His homework.

He had forgotten to do his homework.

He picked up the scroll and placed it into the pouch.

He would take care of it later.

With that final thought, he put on his walrus nightcap, jumped into bed and closed his eyes.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

When he opened his eyes again, he found himself staring at...blackness. No, it wasn't blackness, the ambient light was just very dim. From the stagnant feel of the air, it seemed like he was indoors. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, but even then he could barely make out the dark imposing bookshelf that stretched toward the ceiling. Grunting, he pushed himself up from his prone position before resting a hand on one of the bookshelf's shelves. Straining his eyes to see further into the dark, he struggled to identify some of the shadowed features around him.

He was currently trying to figure out where he was. He had an idea, but he was hoping he was wrong. Since he seemed to show up in a different place every night, there was a possibility that it could be someone else's library. He ignored the small voice in his head telling him that he had been showing up inside of the Scarlet Devil Mansion really often these days...

With a sigh, he reached down to check. Yup, his pouch was there.

But...his pajamas weren't.

He gave a sigh before...

HENGE!

There was a puff of smoke and where he was in his birthday suit, he now wore clothes. Of course, it was too dark to tell, but he was pretty certain it was his usual orange jumpsuit ensemble. He had done this enough times before that it was practically an instinct.

With his clothing situation taken care of, it was time to check his pouch. Opening it, he felt inside. One, two...maybe three Kunai? The paper was probably his homework.

Inventory check complete, he took out a Kunai before closing the pouch again. He cautiously started to make his way forward, keeping a hand on the bookshelf at all times to guide him through the darkness.

When he reached the end of the bookshelf, he paused to stare intently at the other bookshelf's side. It seemed to be brightening slowly to a pale yellow. Concentrating harder on his other senses, he heard slow shuffling footsteps echoing nearby.

Curious, he peered through the space between the bookshelves.

"Geh!" only to let out a shriek and slam backwards into an opposing bookcase in an effort to get away from the candle sitting atop a pile of floating books that had just appeared from the darkness. Ghosts?!

The books continued moving closer and closer...until they started to pass him.

That was when he realized that someone was actually holding the books. This someone had a sleepy expression on her face. And it was a muted gray in the darkness with accents of orangish-yellow above from the candle, but he knew that she had purple hair. This was the creepy lady in the bathrobe that lived in the library. He really didn't have much else to say about her other than she was creepy and serious. But she was alright because she let him do as he wanted as long as he didn't make a mess in the library. Naruto shivered slightly at the last time she had tried to kill him for a mark on a book. Never mind that it wasn't his fault.

And then she stopped to glance down at him.

"Uh...hi?

"hello..." the creepy lady replied in a quiet voice before she seemed to lose interest and continued on her way.

In the space that he was occupying, the ambient light slowly dimmed to near darkness again as the candle left the area.

As he crept forward again, he failed to notice as someone swooped down from above.

"Hi Naruto-san," the voice seemed to come from everywhere.

"Gyaaaaah!" Needless to say, he was surprised. Uttering a manly shriek, he tried jumping away only to have his back dig painfully into a shelf. Ignoring the pain, he quickly glanced left and right before a flicker of light from above caused him to look up. He held his kunai before him, ready to slash or block at a moment's notice. Only to lower it upon seeing who it was.

The newcomer was a tall girl with red hair. She had two pairs of bat wings, one pair by her ears and other pair on her back. "Koakuma-chan," he greeted with a grin and a nod as she quietly landed. "Don't sneak up on me like that." This girl was Koakuma-chan, assistant to the creepy lady in the bathrobe. She was the one that he liked the most in this mansion. She was friendly, kind, helpful, and had the least number of kills to her name. Most of them by accident.

"Ahahaha. Sorry, sorry. You were moving around so carefully that I just had to try it," she had an embarrassed blush on her face as she said that. She carefully placed her candle on a shelf. "It's nice to see you again. Have you been well?"

"Yep! Have you heard?" At the shake of her head, he prepared to regale her with a tale from one of his latest adventures. "Okay then! You're going to love this. See, there I was, facing a hundred Chuunin...no, a hundred Jounin! But these aren't the measly ones that you would find on the streets. No, these are the special ops who specialized in assassinating the Kage's. And who was I protecting this time? The Hokage himself!"

"The leader of your village, right?" Even if she knew that he was fibbing like crazy, as a lover of books and the stories contained within, Koakuma couldn't help but keep the story going. Especially with such a spirited storyteller before her.

"Yeah! Everyone respects him because he's the strongest -ttebayo! But even then, we were in a desperate situation! My team members were all dead, leaving just me and the Hokage to fend off an army."

As the story continued, Koakuma casually slid back a step when the boy started wildly swinging his kunai as he went into a blow by blow account of the fight.

Naruto was so immersed in his tale that he failed to notice the shadow drop down from behind.

Eventually, he dropped into a heroic pose, a kunai in each hand. "It was epic! The two of us were unstoppable! Right as the last enemy fell-"

"-the vampires attacked, right?"

"-the vampires...what?" he blinked and turned to the newest speaker. She was floating in midair in what looked like a sitting position, her wings flapping occasionally. This...this was one of the mansion's inhabitants that he did not want to meet. Her name was Flandre Scarlet. A girl who he could identify immediately because of her odd wings with multiple jewels of different colors hanging from them. Wait, scratch that. Her most distinguishable feature was her extremely high kill count. Most of them were by accident, he had to acknowledge, but her score was still much higher than everyone else's put together.

"Hi Naruto," she chirped with a cheerful wave,"add onee-sama to your story. Give me a great role."

"Uh...uh..." beads of sweat started to pour like a river down his forehead. If he were being truthful, he would say that he somewhat liked having her there. But all of those accidents did have a traumatic effect on him. And from long experience, he knew she could really take things too far.

Koakuma blinked and tilted her head slightly as she seemed to sense that the mood had changed.

"I wanted to hear more about what happens next, but...perhaps...we should stop here?" Naruto shot Koakuma a grateful look. Now he just needed to slip away once Flandre agrees and he might survive the night.

"Aww, is it really over?" Crap, it was Flan's sad look. The one which could probably soften even that scarred man's face.

"Uhh..." he grimaced when her disappointment somehow created a dark gloomy aura. It was really hard for him to say no when she was like this. "...I'm almost done. OK, let's finish this story up then?"

"Yay!" there were a pair of excited cheers.

"Hahaha...yay." He added in a more subdued tone. Looks like he was going to die from telling a story. How sad was that? "Then...where was I?"

"The part where vampires attacked," Koakuma diligently supplied.

Naruto cursed mentally, hoping that they had forgotten that part within the last ten seconds.

"Yeah...the part where a vampire attacks." Oh boy, this was going to be brutal.

"First of all, she comes down from the clouds with glittering wings...all eyes turn to her."

A pair of excited nods.

"Then she sees me and the Hokage and decides to join our side to fight against the evil opponents."

Koakuma was the first to interject. "But that doesn't make sense. You had just finished off the last opponent. You said so when Flandre-sama jumped in."

He was crying inside as the two girls glared at him. _Koakuma!_ "Alright, alright. A hundred more enemy nin had arrived when Flan-chan showed up."

"Is that true?" Flandre asked.

"Yeah." He nodded vigorously.

"Hmm...okay," Flandre didn't look very convinced. Or rather, she looked somewhat bored.

"So then...uh...Flan-chan...uh..." Naruto fumbled around as he struggled to figure out the next part.

"**Onee-sama** charges in," Flandre interjected, taking control.

"Yeah...and then..." Naruto tried to take back control, but he was having trouble trying to come up with what was going to happen next.

"The enemies all explode after I flash past them?" It was phrased in the form of a question, but Flandre left only one way to answer it.

"It doesn't have to..." the boy started to protest as warning bells rang in his head.

She gave him a look.

"Yeah...they all die in one turn -ttebayo," the boy lamely agreed as he subtly slid backwards a step.

"And then, because I was bored at how easy that was, I turn on you, right?" Flandre continued.

"No. No no. Definitely not. We stick together because another thousand enemy nin appear."

"They all go boom too," the blond girl promptly said, boredom in her voice.

"Uhh..."

She grabbed him by the shoulders and looked pleadingly into his eyes. "C'mon! I want to fight against you now!"

"Uh..."

"It would be more exciting if it's a fight between two people that we know..." Koakuma added.

_Koakuma!_ He knew it! She was trying to kill him! He had no choice but to concede. "Then...no more enemy nin show up. Bored, Flan-chan-"

"Onee-sama," Flandre interrupted.

"Flan-chan," Naruto shot back, refusing to give in.

"Onee-sama," Flandre repeated with a pout.

"Flandre-sama. Naruto-san!" Koakuma sharply cut in wanting the story to continue. The argument stopped.

"Did I ever tell you the story about when I had-" Naruto started, intending to talk about ramen. Or soft pillows. Something safer.

"Naruto-san!" Koakuma repeated again without missing a beat, a chiding tone in her voice.

"Change it back, we want the other story!" Flandre added.

"-turns on the Hokage and me and says, 'Let's play'..." Naruto slowly started...

_Wait!_ There may be a way to survive this. "...but she's gracious enough to let us attack first."

He waited, but there was no hint of disagreement from either girl. "So we attack," he added to make sure.

"How?" Flandre asked with a curious expression on her face.

"Uhh...like this?" He lightly poked her side with the Kunai that he was holding.

"Doesn't hurt. Are you sure?"

"Umm, it was a bit harder than that -ttebayo," he clarified.

"A bit?" She asked, thinking about it for a moment. "I still wouldn't feel it..." she finally decided before the Kunai disappeared from the storyteller's hand.

Naruto used his moment wisely. Instead of gasping or cursing, he was shouting "the bookshelf -ttebayo!" as he threw himself to the side.

That was when Flandre finished with, "It has to be like this at least." And then the world exploded.

By the time he reached the floor, hardcover tomes were already raining from the sky as a shallow crater formed on the giant structure's face from the sheer power of the attack.

Pressing himself as closely to the floor as books started slamming into the floor, he felt rather than heard the sinister groan as the bookshelf that Flandre had pointed the kunai at started to lean precariously. Soon, the angle was too much and the bookshelf started to fall.

There was a loud knock as it struck the next bookshelf in line. Instead of resisting the impact, the subordinate bookshelf also started to tilt forward...

And that's when it started.

_Tonk, Tonk, Tonk..._

The bookshelves continued falling over like dominoes, dropping books to the floor as one-by-one they each crashed into their neighbor with enough force to continue the chain.

"Flandre-sama!" Koakuma shrieked angrily before she fell to her knees, picked up what looked like the torn remnants of a book and began to cry. "My boooooks! Waaaaaah!"

"Ah..." Flandre realized as she watched the mayhem. "...Oops."

However, before she could apologize, her attention fell on a body covered by a large pile of books on the floor.

"...Naruto?"

But there was no movement.

"...Naruto?"

Still no movement.

In moments, Naruto was pulled from the mess on the floor. But he was dead.

Not. Of course it hurt when several of those books had landed on him. They were heavy! But they weren't enough to kill him. So he was alive, and holding his breath. Because he had the bright idea that if he played dead Flandre might leave him alone...

...It looks like he had forgotten what happened the last time he tried this trick less than a month ago...

So he did not suspect a thing when he felt himself being laid on the floor. So far so good.

That was when someone squeezed his nose shut before a small pair of soft lips enveloped his. He could only scream in his mind at what was going to come next. And then his chest ballooned as she practically shoved a massive lungful of air down his throat.

He remembered now. Not just his first kiss, but his second as well!

"Nooo- *cough* *cough* -oooooooo!" he cried, shooting up to his feet. "Sakura-chan, I'm so sorry!"

There was no reply for the longest of moments. And then...

He was yanked backwards, this time in a bone crushing hug. Or whatever it could be called if you're being squeezed and you feel your ribs starting to give. "Yay! You're not broken!" There was a crunch. Was that a bone? Did he just hear a bone snap in half? He felt gravity immediately assert itself in an awkward direction as she practically threw him away. Through the dimming haze of awareness, he heard a frantic "Aaaaah, I broke him this time!"

As he laid there like a crushed blob of jelly, he knew he had to say something. He had to stop her before she did anything else. He hadn't died yet, but anymore and it'd be over.

"..." he rasped out. Flandre stopped panicking to lean closer and listen to what he was trying to say.

"..." he repeated.

"-work?"

"homework..."

"Homework? What's that?"

"pouch..."

"Pouch?"

If Naruto could cry in outrage, he would as Flandre scattered his belongings as she opened and emptied his utility pouch and threw the "Not homeworks" to the side. She paused to compare a flimsy object with a rolled up object before she dropped the flimsy object.

But he couldn't. Right now he was in too much pain to do anything other than flop on the floor.

"It looks different than before," Flandre commented after opening the folded scroll to look at what was inside. With a shrug, she brought it over to Koakuma.

"What *sniffle* do you want, Flandre-sama? *sob sob*"

"Homework."

"Homework? *sob* What's that?"

"Is it this?"

"?" Koakuma examined the paper curiously for a moment. "Is this one of those *sniffle* new Danmaku spellcards that Reimu-sama is developing?"

"Danmaku spellcard? What's that?"

"Let me look at it." Reverantly placing her book down, Koakuma took some time to dry her eyes and calm her tears before taking the paper and examining its front and backside. "I need some light." she finally said. The sheer force of Flandre's attack had extinguished the candle earlier.

With a casual spell, the silent candle holder rose from the floor until it was now floating next to her head. And then a simple thought caused a new flame to dance upon its wick giving light to the area again.

Koakuma stared at the parchment, as it bathed in the yellow candlelight. "There is no magic in it," she finally said before waving it in midair to make sure. "It probably isn't a danmaku spellcard." She looked closer at it. "Oh. I see. It's a bunch of puzzles in another language."

"Puzzles?"

"Give me a moment. Let's *sniff* see. Question...one. Please calculate the time needed for a kunai to hit a target half a meter high when thrown at an angle of 45 degrees from a distance of 10 meters away. Please assume that the Kunai is thrown from at altitude of 3 meter with standard air resistance. Also assume that you are under fire from at least three unseen assailants, in a rainstorm, and you throw the Kunai hard enough for it to reach the target in one second.

"stupid math," came a quiet grunt from the prone boy.

"1 second," Flandre answered at the same time.

"Correct." Koakuma wrote down the answer, making sure to write it in whatever language that Naruto used.

"Question two. You are on a retrieval mission of which the mission parameters state 'please take everything of value.' After sneaking past the guards using a cardboard box, you search the room. In the end, you find yourself trying to decide which of the following items to take: a scroll of secret techniques or ten thousand ryo. Which do you take in the end?

"The scroll of secret techniques," the blond boy replied, feeling slightly better as his rapid healing worked its magic.

"You take them both," Flandre happily said.

"Correct." Koakuma wrote that answer down too.

In short order, the ten questions had been answered.

Turns out the damage was painful, but nothing critical or permanent. Which was a good thing because, by the time they were done, the blond boy was well enough to sit up and growl as the two answered each of the difficult questions without stopping to think. Just because they didn't have to turn it in, it wasn't right of them to mess around with his homework.

Flandre finally took the homework back and skipped up to him. "Here you go, Naruto." She said as she presented the paper to him. Koakuma was picking up books in the background, sobbing slightly here and there.

He took it and placed it into his pouch, resolving to erase and start over later. And then Flandre fell into his lap and embraced him.

"What? Flan-chan?"

"Ne, Naruto. Feeling better?" she whispered into his ear.

Instead of answering yes or no, he tried to push her away because he knew what was going to happen next. She was showing that mood again... But his attempts to rebuff her failed. She wasn't budging an inch. She was way too freaking strong.

"Flan-chan, no Onee-sama. Wait! I want to say something -ttebayo."

He felt her still. "Fueh?"

"Let's play."

"..."

"..."

When Flandre let him go and floated up toward the ceiling with a flap of her wings, she had a large happy grin on her face.

"Okay~" she happily agreed before adding, "If I win, I get to drink your blood."

"How about if I win?" Naruto demanded from the ground.

"We'll see~" the vampire said with a giggle.

"Not in the library!" Koakuma immediately shouted, before pointing at an exit. "Out out out OUT!" A glowing red magical circle formed under her.

Sheesh, all this to avoid getting his blood sucked. And he still was going to lose it if she caught him. Maybe he should give up...

No...his pride wouldn't let him. He had been surviving this for years now, he wasn't going to quit now. Diving forward, he snatched a practice kunai off the floor and threw it upwards.

Flandre just stared as it made a graceful arc toward, up over, high over, and then away from her. Yup, Naruto still had horrible aim.

At the same time, Naruto had managed to snag his explosive tag as well as another Kunai from the floor. Now he was making his getaway by means of Koakuma. In other words, Koakuma's magic circle was starting to launch glowing books everywhere and he was running as fast as he could away from her in an effort to avoid being hit by one of them. He sidestepped right as several of them struck the ground in front of him, exploding in a shower of fire and ashes on impact.

At the same token, Flandre seemed amused, as she asked one question that made even the frenzied books freeze in place. "Koakuma-chan wants to play too?"

It's too bad the glowing books soon disappeared right afterwards. At this moment, the library was a mess with the collapsed bookshelves and books lying everywhere. With the lack of light shrouding everything in darkness, the dim glow from the bullets provided some light. Unable to see any longer, he stumbled over something before rolling to a stop with a heavy thud. Groaning painfully, he quickly crawled under one of the fallen bookshelves as a brief battle started to occur overhead. He needed a plan.

-o-o-o-o-o-

He came up with one when he got stuck halfway through the makeshift tunnel. It was one of those burst of inspiration things that occur during moments of extreme frustration.

Vampires hated sunlight right? There was plenty of that outside. All he had to do was get outside and he was free.

Digging frantically through the fallen books blocking his path, he struggled forward with a renewed sense of purpose.

-o-o-o-o-o-

He stopped near the exit of the tunnel before crawling upward into the space where the books would normally sit. And not a moment to soon either as Flandre peeked in.

When her head disappeared, he breathed a sigh of relief, only to lock up again when he felt the bookcase shift.

Oh come on. There had to be a limit to her strength. Apparently a half-loaded bookcase that was three stories tall was not enough to make her hesitate.

Pressing desperately against the top and bottom shelf, he soon found himself doing a handstand when the bookshelf finally came to a stop. Upside down.

"Found you Naruto!"

"Uh, hey Flan-Oneesama. Hang on for a moment." He said as he fell into a heap on the top shelf. Getting back onto his feet, he held up his remaining kunai. "Umm...bet you can't throw farther than I can."

"?"

Fulfilling her expectations, he reared up and threw the kunai. The two watched as it flew quite some distance where it finally landed. Well, Naruto lost track of it when it disappeared into the library's darkness. But he did hear a dull thunk some distance away.

"I don't have one of those pointy things though." The vampire girl dressed in red finally commented.

"That's alright, throw the bookcase. You're stronger so it's okay if you have a small handicap -ttebayo." It kind of galled him to say that, but it was true. And, he did have to forgo his pride because he just had an idea...

"Okay!" Great! She agreed like he expected!

Naruto immediately braced himself again; he pressed hard against the top and bottom shelves again. "Oh god, here goes..."

It wasn't one of his better ideas, but...

He had no more time to think as he was nearly ejected from his spot when she lifted the bookcase off the floor. Wait. Why was she lifting it way off the floor?! It began to occur to him that maybe this was a bad idea.

"1!"

There was a brief sense of vertigo as the bookshelf moved backwards. Okay, maybe this was a really bad idea.

"2!"

At this point, Naruto was pressing as hard as he could as he stared at the pinpoints of candle light that showed just how far the library's floor was from the ceiling. As his foot started to slip on the smooth surface of the bottom shelf, he was starting to think that maybe this was a terrible idea.

"3!"

That was when Flan threw the bookshelf.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHhhhhhhhhhh..."

That would be Naruto screaming in terror as the bookshelf hurtled forward just as fast as the kunai he had thrown earlier. At that same moment, he was wondering what freaking idiot thought up this bullshit idea in the first place.

Then the bookcase started to descend.

He barely managed to stay inside when the bookcase slammed into the ground the first time.

But it bounced and continued flying forward.

And, before he knew it, he was thrown free when bookcase ripped through one of the library's walls.

He heard several more loud cracks as the bookcase continued its merry way through the first floor, ignoring any walls that it happened to encounter.

-o-o-o-o-o-

It took some time before Flandre realized that she could not collect her reward. Why? Because Naruto was not there anymore. At first, she was somewhat annoyed that he was not there to watch and then agree that she had thrown the bookcase farther than his knife.

And then her eyes widened. Wait, wasn't there a scream when she had thrown the bookshelf?

"..."

By the time she entered that first room, Naruto was nowhere to be seen.

-o-o-o-

* * *

"What's with all the ruckus?"

Henge was great. Right now he was walking through the hallways pretending to be the old hag."

"Wait! Onee-sama!"

He stopped and turned to her, trying his best to hide his sweat.

"Yes Flan?" he asked with the old hag's voice.

"Have you seen Naruto?" she asked him.

He shook his head no.

His sweat threatened to pour out as she looked him up and down. A look of confusion appeared on her face.

"Onee-sama, is something wrong? You seem to be scared"

"It's just your imagination," he quickly replied.

"You're a bit shorter than normal, Onee-sama."

"It's just your imagination," he said again.

*poke*

His hand quickly flew up to hide the spot on his chest where she had poked him.

"You seem a bit bigger too."

"It's just your imagination -ttebayo"

Flandre's eyes flickered left and right. As if she were comparing something.

"No it's not," she finally said. "You're 3 millimeters bigger. Congratulations!" she said with a thumbs up and a grin.

"Oh?" Neither Flandre nor Naruto had said that. That voice had come from behind the blond boy, sending icy cold tendrils right up his spine. Before he could run, however, a vise-like grip had him by the head.

"How interesting. Let me see."

He was so dead.

He felt his neck crack as his captor forcefully turned him around, by the head. Now he sweated as the the blue haired vampire dressed in her normal pink outfit with a pink mob cap looked him over. This was the old hag. She's evil.

"Hmm?" the old hag made a questioning tone before her eyes turned down.

"Hmm..." with a casual, motion, she had turned him around so that his backside was facing her.

"Mmhmm..."

He felt the pressure on his head disappear as she let him go. He checked his head to make sure it was still attached to his neck before he slowly turned around.

Once she could see his eyes, that was when she started. "I will not comment on your impression of my bust and height. It does not bother me. Not at all."

He thought he saw a vein in the old hag's forehead pulse.

"It should be fine," the vampire repeated as if she was trying to hypnotize herself into believing it.

Her hand snapped out and grasped one of his cheeks.

"But an orange dress? I do not have such an atrocious fashion sense."

At this time, her other hand had snapped out and forcefully wrenched his other cheek.

"-ttebayo? I speak properly thank you very much."

He suddenly felt a painful pull on both cheeks.

"And why do I have such a low-class expression on my face? A vampire showing fear? Nonsense. To insult me like so...please die."

"Onee-sama! Wait!" Flandre quickly interjected.

Saved!

"Umm...which one is the real Onee-sama?" Flandre wondered.

"..."

Chance! He quickly raised his hand. "Me," he managed to mumble out with his face stretched like that.

The look of shock and outrage on the original one's face was surprisingly memorable. He planned to preserve it in his mind for all eternity.

"Really? Onee-sama shouldn't be that big. But since I trust Onee-sama..."

"Flan..." The old hag's voice held a warning tone. And he felt himself being manuevered in front of her. That hag! She was using him as a shield!

And then he shut his eyes when when he saw the crazy girl with the multicolored wings shoot toward them. Instead of being torn apart, however, he felt himself being ripped free and thrown to the side.

And then there was a strangled gasp.

"You dodged," the blond haired girl gleefully said.

"Flan, wait." Remilia placatingly said.

Instead, the crazy girl leapt after the old hag to try again.

Only to dodge as a swarm of glowing red bats flew toward her.

"Hahahaha! Naruto, I didn't know you could do that. Here, take this!"

As glowing magic circles started filling the air and the room started to shake, Naruto hightailed it for the exit.

-o-o-o-

* * *

There it was, the main entrance! He left his cover and ran for it.

Only to stop just short of the door when a firm grasp landed on his shoulder with a smack.

"Leaving so soon, Naruto-sama?" came the calm voice of the evil maid.

"You must be mistaken, I'm the old hag," he said, speaking to the door. He couldn't turn around to address the speaker because she was holding him in place.

"Is that so?" the evil maid asked as her grip tightened.

"Yeah. Can't you see the bat wings? The evil face?" he asked, his face somewhat scrunched in pain from the maid's strong grip.

"Yes. I also see the orange dress."

"Yeah...the orange...dress? Shouldn't it be pink by now?" he wondered out loud.

"Naruto, if you plan to continue with this charade I will become very upset," the silver haired maid sighed.

"I'm the old..."

**- Thunk -**

"I'm Naruto -ttebayo." he quickly said, his eyes flickering to the right as the dagger quivered from where it dug into the front door. He reverted back in a burst of smoke.

"Thank you."

"So yeah, I have to leave now," the boy said as he struggled to pull forward despite the iron grip on his shoulder.

"Oh? I hope it wasn't because of the hospitality"

"No no, of course not. You were great. Look, I really need to get going."

"No no, I insist." she cheerfully said as she casually turned him around. "Please stay longer. You won't regret it."

"I'm going to regret it plenty," he knowingly said as he doubled his effort to break free.

Dust began dropping from cracks in the ceiling as the battle occurring deep within the mansion began approaching the front entrance.

Soon a pair of vampires burst into the entrance room, one of them laughing maniacally while chasing the other.

Remilia stopped and turned around in midair. "For the last time, Flan. Stop this or else," a magical circle formed behind Remilia, launching more red bats at her sister.

"Ahahahaha. This is really fun, Naruto," Flan laughed happily as she dodged the glowing bats before raising Laevateinn above her head. It started to glow.

"..." three pairs of eyes stared as a massive beam of magic formed in the air, ripping right through the mansion's ceiling.

And then it came down, carving a massive trench from the ceiling to the main doors and forcing everyone to scramble out of the way or take massive damage.

Remilia quickly flew over to the silver-haired maid once the beam evaporated. "Sakuya, find Meiling and Patchouli. We need them here immediately."

"Yes my lady," with that, the evil maid disappeared.

Remilia turned to her sister, her eyes glowing a bright red. "Flan, I am about to be very angry."

Forgotten for the moment, Naruto stared at the debris that blocked off the massive entrance. Turning around, he surveyed the mess from the battle on the first floor. Looks like the staircase was still intact.

If only he had looked up at the ceiling.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The staircase was a danger zone. Red and blue flashed overhead as the two vampires battled overhead. Soon they were joined by knives, beams, streams of fire, torrents of water. If it wasn't falling debris, it was the slippery marble, stray weapons, and stair-carving beams that made it hazardous.

As he crept upwards, he couldn't help but be thankful that he hadn't been hit just yet.

That was when something blew up behind him, leaving a crater and launching him forward.

"Uf" he grunted as he landed roughly on a wide stair a bit higher up. He started to pick himself up.

"Gyah!" only to be flattened when one of the combatants slammed right into his backside. He struggled to crawl out from under her. Once free, he turned to look and see who was responsible.

"Mukyu," the creepy lady in the bathrobe softly moaned. Badly scuffed up, she looked like she was out of the battle.

He continued making his way upstairs as the ground shook violently from the stray magic exploding everywhere. It seems that blind luck continued to protect him as he had yet to experience a direct hit.

And that was when the old hag cannonballed right through the stairs before him. Emphasis on **through**! There was a gaping hole right in the middle of the stairs now!

She didn't come back out.

The shaking was getting bad. At this point, he wouldn't be surprised if the staircase collapsed from all the damage that it was taking.

Then a massive red glow painted the floor and walls red causing him to look for the source.

Shit.

He wished that he hadn't looked.

Forget the staircase collapsing. There wasn't going to be a staircase when that massive ball of power landed.

Throwing caution to the wind, he dashed around the hole where the old hag laid and up the remaining steps.

"5 steps"

"4 steps"

"3 steps"

"2 steps"

"1 m-..."

The world turned white.

"Ahahahahaha" Flandre continued laughing excitedly overhead.

-o-o-o-

* * *

With a final grunt of effort, he finally managed to drag the body of a heavily singed red-haired lady in a tattered green Qi Pao over toward a wall.

"Dragon lady. Thank you." He quietly whispered while softly clapping his hands together and bowing his head to offer a prayer of safe journey for the next life.

He couldn't help but feel touched when she had shielded him from the explosion, sacrificing herself in the process.

When he heard the sound of wind rushing, he hid behind a giant column that supported this room's ceiling. Sweat poured down his face. On the opposing side stood his tormentor.

"Naruto, where are you?" she called out as she stood there and looked around.

Turning around, he started to use the shadows to sneak toward an open room.

He quietly entered the room and shut the door, only to realize his mistake when he saw HER turn to him.

But wait, wasn't she back outside in the hallway?

"Found you!" Her happy shout had shattered the silence and then he heard footsteps from outside.

The door opened and another Flandre walked.

Oh yeah, now he remembered that she could duplicate herself.

The door shut with an ominous bang.

Now what?

There was a crazy girl in front of him and a crazy girl behind him, slowly advancing on him.

In front, in back...that left...to the side! That was when room's wall burst inward, kicking up a small cloud of dust and littering the floor with the wall's remains. Another Flandre entered the room.

Sweating heavily, Naruto went through his options before the academy grade tag came to mind.

While they were to be used outdoors only, an academy grade tag cannot make an explosion. That would make them too dangerous for students to handle. Instead, they just created smoke.

Lots and lots of smoke. A fact that the prankster in him loved to exploit. Indoors.

There was no boom, it was more like a massive poof.

When the coughing stopped and smoke finally cleared, four copies were left staring at each other. Mysteriously, a boy dressed in bright orange had somehow slipped out.

The door opened again and four-pairs of eyes watched as another girl walked in.

"?"

The Flans all stared each other for several seconds before one of them started moving and the other four copied the action.

"There should only be four of us with the Four-of-a-Kind spell..." the fourth Flandre finally said after copying a hand wave and a small jump.

"Count again?" the third Flandre suggested as she pumped her fist in the air. The other four followed.

"One, two, three, four...five," the first Flandre said, breaking off in midair to point at each Flandre and ending with herself.

"That's not right, try again," the second Flandre encouraged as she repeated the hop-hop dance move that the Third had started.

"One...two...three...four...five," the first Flandre ticked off.

"You're counting yourself. Try it one more time, this time without counting yourself," came the helpful suggestion from the third Flandre before she pointed at the second Flandre and winked.

"One...two...three...four," the first Flandre repeated. All of the Flandres stopped what they were doing.

Then, five cheers rose up. "Yay! It's right now!"

"One more time. Just to make sure. I'll be outside looking for Naruto," the third Flandre said.

At the nod from the others, she left through the door. The door closed with a click.

"One...two...three," the first Flandre counted.

"?"

"..."

"Again?" the fifth Flandre asked.

"One...two...three," the first Flandre repeated.

"?"

The fifth Flandre impatiently took over, this time pointing to everyone standing in the room. "One, two, three, four."

"..."

"That's...right," the second Flandre finally said.

"Why?" asked the fourth Flandre.

All four sets of eyes slowly widened in realization.

"Haaaa!"

-o-o-o-o-o-

And that was when he banked right and covered his head.

There was the sound of glass shattering as he dove right through a window in the hallway.

He was free! Now he just had to survive a two story drop.

The first sign that something was wrong was when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him again. His descent slowed as the second sign manifested with a bite to his neck from behind.

Now he remembered something else...he had fallen asleep at night. It would be nighttime here. Nighttime means no sun. Had he looked up during the fight at the entrance, he would have known this much earlier.

By the time he was on the ground, he was on his hands and knees while struggling to recover from the dizzy and lightheaded feeling that resulted from having most of your blood removed from your body.

His pursuer crouched down next to him, a smear of blood on her face from when she had wiped it with the back of her hand after sucking his blood.

"Caught you! That was fun Naruto, let's play again later." With a happy hum, his tormentor slowly flew back toward the giant mansion, softly humming something horrendously off-key..

Not a moment later he heard the silent shuffle of a visitor. A quiet voice spoke up.

"...You survived."

That sounded like the creepy lady in the bathrobe.

Another pair of footsteps appeared.

"Please wait Mistress Patchouli. The mansion needs someone to clean up the mess. You can deal with him afterwards."

Wait, was he hearing the sound of flapping wings?

His lethargy evaporated instantly as his instincts screamed at him to run far away really really fast. Which he tried immediately. Only to choke as his collar suddenly tightened when someone seized the back of his jumpsuit.

"I do apologize Patche. Sakuya. But I believe that tonight is my turn..."

-o-o-o-

* * *

(The Present)

...And that was how he found himself in a compromising position as a crimson spear shrieked toward him.

Unable to move, unable to scream...he felt the light touch him as his world turned red.

-o-o-o-

* * *

"Gaaaah!" Naruto screeched as he shot upright.

Now awake, he quickly checked himself over. Everything seemed to be in place and nothing hurt.

"Damn it!" he cursed as he fell back into bed, the aged springs creaking and groaning from the action. He had been killed again.

As he struggled to rearrange the lumpy pillow to his liking, his thoughts were on his dream self...of the phantom feeling of the light as it touched him. Afterwards, nothing. Flan's attack was too fast and powerful for him to feel anything after that though. It almost made him want to forget about cool jutsus and just train until he was as strong as Flan-chan?

Okay, his pillow finally seemed to give up. Laying down again, he rolled over so he could read the clock next to his bed. When that didn't work, he picked it up and squinted closely at it. Only to drop it on the floor in frustration as he turned to look outside. Three in the morning?!

He rolled back and closed his eyes, only to open them a second later.

What was he going to do now? He knew that he wasn't going to revisit that place anytime tonight. But it wasn't like he could fall asleep immediately now that he was wide awake.

Getting up, he patted himself to make sure that he was clothed before jumping out of bed. He then shuffled his way past the discarded empty ramen cups, scrolls, and other miscellaneous junk to a wall covered in scratches. He used a pen to scrawl another mark at the very bottom. To the casual eye, he was using the wall to count something. Number of trips to Ichiraku's perhaps?

They wouldn't be wrong about the counting part. But...

He finished counting, the moonlight coming from the window helping him with the task.

That made what...eight-hundred and thirty-one now? That was how many times he had died since he started counting his deaths in Gensokyo. He didn't break up the total because he didn't need to. Flandre was responsible for most of them.

Turning around, he headed back to bed.

Of course, he wasn't sure what compelled him to do so. But before he slid back in, he reached down to brush his hand against the futon. He frowned. Something felt...papery.

...he had a bad feeling about this. Acting on his strange fear, he reached over and pulled on the metal beaded cord. His desk lamp clicked on.

Now that he could see better, he took another look at his futon.

"...Crap."

-o-o-o-

* * *

Classes at the ninja academy had not started yet, so the classrooms were filled with idle chatter. One room in particular housed students who had been learning at the academy for three of the five requisite years. Requisite, unless you chose to take the final exam and tested out early. Sasuke Uchiha is a well-known student of this class. On this day, the students were especially excited.

"What do you plan to do for summer vacation?"

"Laze around all day, hopefully."

"Mom and Dad are planning on heading to the capital."

The chatter suddenly dimmed down when the downstairs door slid open and the blond-haired class clown ran in wearing his usual bright orange jumpsuit. A rapid burst of whispers broke out before the students returned to their conversations. Naruto paid them no mind. Instead, he glanced around before his gaze landed on a pink-haired girl sitting at the top row.

"Sakura-chan!"

The pink-haired girl stopped making eyes at her beloved Sasuke-kun to turn and glare at the blond boy standing next to her. "What do you want?"

"Go out on a date with me!"

"No way!"

"Please Sakura-chan! Please please please please please..."

"No no no."

"...please please please..."

"No..."

"...please please please..."

Caught in the moment, Naruto failed to notice that Sakura was getting quieter.

"...I want to go," Sakura quietly said as a proud noble aura seemed to surround her hunched form. It was so quiet that it should have been drowned out by the begging. But when Naruto froze, and not just him but the rest of the class as well, it was obvious that her acceptance was clearly heard by nearly everyone present.

Naruto stared quietly for one brief moment before his face lit up in realization. "Hi-"

Sakura had a hand on his collar before he had a chance to finish..

"S-Stop bothering me!" she growled as she started to shake him with a furious expression on his face.

Naruto soon saw stars as she socked him hard across the cheek, sending him careening over the desk.

**THUMP.**

Once the stars disappeared, Naruto had to blink. Then he blinked again just to make sure.

An explosive tag! Crumpled. Academy grade. Lying conveniently upon the floor. Finders keepers!

He quickly reached out before suppressing a scream as someone stomped right onto his hand

"Hey! That's mine!" that was dog-boy, who incidentally owned the foot currently on his hand.

"What's yours?" Naruto feigned stupid.

"That tag." Guess playing stupid didn't work.

"The tag that's currently under my hand?"

When Kiba scowled and nodded, it was time to lie. After all, it was a matter of life and death. And besides, it most likely wasn't dog boy's either otherwise they'd be fighting already. "Pfft. Are you kidding me? This is mine -ttebayo."

"Liar!" Kiba shot back as he raised his foot and stomped down again.

Naruto quickly closed his hand around the tag before snatching his hand back just in time. Kiba's foot struck the ground hard, making a loud smack.

"I'm not lying," Naruto said as he pushed himself to his feet.

"You are!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!" By this point, the two were centimeters apart and glaring furiously at each other.

"I'm not lying! Sakura-chan saw me drop it."

"Eh?" the pink haired girl blinked before a happy smile appeared on her face. "Yeah! Naruto isn't one to lie."

Sakura? The one who normally wouldn't give the blond boy the time of day? And she agreed as well? The entire class fell silent.

Naruto had fallen silent as well, although he felt like a kunai had stabbed him in the heart as well. It took everything he had not to admit right then and there that he actually was lying.

"..."

"That's twice in a row. What's up with you today, Sakura?" Ino asked in concern. Her rivalry temporarily on hold.

The pink-haired girl furiously shook her head as if to clear something away. "Huh? What? Nothing's wrong. Hahaha," she laughed unsteadily before she ran for the front exit, giving one brief glare at the blond boy. He gulped, getting the message.

"What was that?" someone asked.

"No clue,"

"Yeah, I mean...Naruto? I thought she liked Sasuke."

Before Sakura left, her glare basically said not to say anything or else. But he wasn't going to take that insult lying down.

"Hah! She's just being friendly because she's finally realized how cool I am when compared to duck butt over there."

"You?!" Ino demanded as she shot out of her seat. "What's so great about you anyway?"

"Hey, I can be the most awesome guy in the world when I want to!" Naruto defended.

"Feh! More awesome than Sasuke maybe, but you're so far behind me it's not even a challenge," Kiba bragged.

"What was that dog boy?!"

"I'm saying, you're so lame I could beat you with one hand tied behind my back!"

"Make it both hands and let's go! Outside, right now!"

"Oi! Do you think I'm stupid or something?!"

"Can't do it?" the blond boy taunted.

"I can. And while hopping on one foot!" Kiba shot back. From within his coat, Akamaru popped out and barked in agreement.

"Let's go then."

Kiba held up a hand. "Hold on. First I want that tag."

"What? In case you win?" Naruto asked.

"Da hell? No, that's something different. That tag belongs to me!"

"What?! No way! I already told you that it's mine. Sakura-chan saw me drop it."

"She's not in the room, to back you up anymore," Kiba pointed out.

"That's messed up!" the blond boy shot back.

"Whatever, I don't make the rules man."

"You just did -ttebayo!"

Kiba cupped a hand to his ear. "What's that? Did you just say that you can't find anyone else to back you up?"

"As if!" Naruto shot back before he turned to the audience. "I can find someone else who saw me drop it."

"No you can't," Kiba challenged back.

"Then did anyone see you drop it?" the blond boy countered turning to face the Inuzuka again. He knew that Kiba was probably right. Neither of them saw the purple haired white-eyed girl hiding in a corner.

"Heh, easily!" Kiba looked around before pointing at a fat kid munching on a bag of chips.

Chouji stopped eating to shake his head no before pointing at his bag of chips.

Kiba then pointed at the sleeping pineapple head afterwards. The one he was pointing at let out a particularly loud snore in response. Amazing! To sleep through an argument like this. Or maybe he was awake and emphasizing the snore to tell them to leave him out of it.

Naruto had a skeptical expression on his face. He wasn't the only one. "Who else?"

Kiba turned to the rest of the class. Everyone looked away.

Well, this was awkward.

"Wait, if no one saw you drop it. And no one saw me drop it...," Naruto started.

"Then it's your word against mine," Kiba challenged.

"Settle this outside?" A sinister grin appeared on Naruto's face.

"Let's," came the reply as a matching grin appeared on Kiba's face. The Inuzuka started cracking his knuckles menacingly.

The two headed for the door in the back of the classroom.

"Don't forget that you have to fight with both hands tied behind your back while while hopping on one leg."

"What?!"

The door slid open with a loud crack.

"Where do you think you're going?" Iruka asked as he peered down at them.

"Uh..."

"Get back to your seats and take out your homework!"

There was a brief racket as Naruto and Kiba hurried back into the classroom, the rest of the class in the background finding a seat immediately as well.

Iruka paused after surveying the room.

"Where's Haruno-san?"

-o-o-o-o-o-

Iruka's brow rose nearly to his hairline when he saw the singed and shredded document sitting in front of the class' troublemaker.

Picking up the blackened pieces and examining them one piece at a time, he finally set it down.

"Naruto, your name is at the top but the rest of the homework is in someone else's handwriting. Whose homework is this?"

"Mine sir."

"..."

Iruka slammed both hands upon the desk causing the class to jump. He glared at the boy. "In case I wasn't being clear enough, I believe that you stole someone else's homework and then put your name on it. Now whose homework is this?"

"Mine sir," Naruto scowled back.

"..."

"..."

Iruka pinched his nose, closed his eyes, and slowly took a breath before holding up one of the fragments and pointing toward the blackened spot where Naruto's name was written. "Who wrote this?"

"I did sir."

Iruka slowly held up a different homework fragment. "Then who wrote this?"

Naruto gave a weak grin. "Would you believe me if I said that I did?"

Iruka slowly shook his head no. "Now whose homework is this?" he finally asked again.

"Mine."

"Naruto..."

"It really is mine -ttebayo! You handed it to me yesterday and I managed to fill in my name. It's not my fault someone went and filled in the rest!"

"Really? And just who came over and conveniently filled in the rest?"

"Flan-chan?"

Iruka blinked. "Who is Flan-chan?"

"I dunno."

"...What?"

"I dunno. I want to call her a friend and all that, but she kills me a lot."

"Kills?"

At first, Iruka thought that the boy was saying kill in a figurative manner...

"Yeah, I get crushed the most often. But sometimes she drowns me, stabs me, blows me up..."

...but it's hard to be figurative with such specific examples.

"You look alive," Mizuki, his assistant teacher, commented.

"I don't get it myself," Naruto said with a helpless shrug as both of his teachers looked at him funny. If anything, Iruka-sensei was looking at him with suspicion. He recognized that look after seeing it many times over the years.

"Get this, the dobe thinks that he's immortal."

"Iruka-sensei, let's stab him a few times to see!"

The class began laughing.

It took some time for Iruka to finally restore order to his classroom.

"We're getting off topic," Iruka finally said, "So you're telling me that this Flan, who kills you often and might or might not be your friend, took your homework and filled it out for you?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "Eh, it sounds weird when you say it like that."

"..."

"..."

"She then proceeded to blackmail you, right? By holding your homework above an open flame?"

"What? No no, she gave it right back."

A pulsing vein appeared on Iruka's forehead. "...so what's your reason for its burnt and shredded appearance?"

"The old hag decided to let her sister throw an exploding spear at me at full power. " he grumbled before adding, "I need a new utility pouch now."

"..."

"..."

"Whatever. Everything is surprisingly correct, and you get bonus points for attempting to pursue the ninja arts by taking credit for someone else's work. But next time make it less obvious and come up with a better excuse. You get a C. See me after class."

The class broke into laughter again.

"Damn it!"

-o-o-o-

* * *

"Lemme go -ttebayo!" Naruto shouted to the world as he clung desperately to a window frame on the first floor of the academy. Hopefully someone would have a heart and save him.

No luck. None of the students were planning on staying one extra second after school just to help him.

One of his hands lost its purchase on the wall. Now he could only hang on with his remaining hand.

_Five fingers._

Even Sakura-chan got up and left without looking back.

_Four fingers._

The other teachers could probably care less.

_Three..._

...Right then and there, there was a sharp tug from behind and his hold slipped immediately. With time enough for one last yell, he was promptly pulled inside and thrown into a nearby chair.

A pair of hands slammed into the desk in front of him. "Shut up brat!" Iruka roared at the boy.

Naruto cowered in fear as his teacher's head seemed to expand to fill the room. That pissed off expression itself was as wide as the blackboard.

A minute seemed to pass before Iruka sighed and his head shrank back down to normal size. He pinched his nose, a tired expression on his face. "What am I going to do with you..."

"Let me leave?" Naruto asked as he started to stand.

"Get back here," only for the Iruka to reach out and seize the boy by the collar of his orange jumpsuit again.

"Gaak." **Thud. **The blond boy was back in his chair.

After another few minutes of silence, Iruka finally gave a self-assured nod.

"Tell you what, you're in luck today," He said before he pointed at a paint splattered desk which just so happened to be where Pineapple Head had sat for the day. "Clean up the mess that you made and then you can leave."

The mess just happened to be a failed prank aimed at letting him escape. After the homework hassle, and with the promise of a long boring lecture after school, of course he wasn't going to remain behind.

But he wasn't even sure why it failed. All he knew was that, just after lunch, it detonated successfully during class. Right when his target was about to nod off. His victim fell out of his seat from the surprise of something exploding in his face. Everyone's head swiveled to watch as paint flew everywhere. Some of the girls shrieked when the paint landed on their clothes. The distraction was perfect and he made good on his escape. However, right at the door's opening, he froze in place and found that he couldn't move. For five seconds. And that was when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.

"Whatever," Naruto grumbled as he went to the locker in the back of the room.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto paused to scowl at the rainbow colored splotches that covered the desk, the chairs, and part of the tables in front and back. Damn, he did a really good job. First and last time he tried using a paint bomb as a distraction.

Behind him, Iruka was doing an excellent job of trying to bore a hole into the back of the boy's neck with his stare, willing the boy to get started already.

"See you Iruka," someone called out from the door.

Iruka turned to give the fellow instructor a friendly wave before turning back to the class troublemaker.

**- Squeak Squeak - **

Only to gape as Naruto finished the process of wiping the table one last time. It sparkled. It literally sparkled! That's how clean the aged wooden surface had become. There was no sign of the paint anywhere.

Confused, Iruka slowly stumbled forward to take a closer look. His confusion intensified as he realized that even the smallest of splatters were gone.

Wringing out the rag one last time, Naruto let it flop on the side of the bucket full of dirty water before turning to scowl at the teacher.

But Iruka ignored him, content to stare at the table with a jaw-dropped expression.

"..."

"I'm done," Naruto finally called out after waiting several minutes, but demon-sensei continued to remain frozen.

Naruto shrugged at the lack of response before returning the bucket to the locker.

He was about to leave when he stopped at a very important realization...he had no equipment for tonight. Just that explosive tag that dog-boy had forgotten about.

He turned back and stared at the still form of demon-sensei before he scowled again. Yeah, that wasn't going to work.

-o-o-o-

* * *

Soon after, Naruto found himself sitting alone at the playground outside of the academy. As he slowly rocked back and forth on his swing, Naruto wondered what to do next. It wasn't very late since he hadn't stayed long after school to clean up.

He spied Iruka leave the academy from the front entrance in a half-drunken manner. A small part of his mind that was geared toward pranking quickly concluded that, with demon-sensei's departure, the building was probably empty now.

While it would normally be correct; it was wrong this time.

There was still someone on the third floor, peering down. Silently watching.

The playground was empty. He wasn't very surprised, as the people walking past the playground were turning around to go back the other way, glaring at him, or, in the case of that pair of women, whispering. It wasn't that the negative attention wasn't getting to him. But years of exposure had allowed him to develop a slight immunity. It still hurt though.

Before he could decide whether to just get up and leave, maybe head out to dinner, he noticed a girl with white eyes staring at him from atop a steep hill.

Seeing that she had his attention, she scowled and made a gesture for him to come over.

Not seeing the harm, he stood up and made his way over.

Right before he could get within two arm's length from her, he let out an oof.

She had jumped forward and slammed a palm right into his chest.

Seeing how he was walking up a hill at the time and completely unprepared for the attack, he was soon screaming bloody murder as he fell backwards and started rolling downhill, kicking up grass with every turn.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"What was that for?!" he wheezed once as he ran up to her. It hadn't taken long at all for him to catch up, indicating that she had been waiting for him a little. "Stop it already, that's like the third time!"

"..." there was no response from the offender as she continued walking.

Unamused, Naruto quickly went around and stopped right before her, cutting her off.

Left. Right. He continued to match her movements as she tried to walk around him.

Seeing how he wasn't letting her pass, she turned around and started to walk back the way that she came.

Naruto hurried after her.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Move" the girl finally ordered when he had blocked her off for the third time.

"No way -ttebayo! Not till you apologize."

"I apologize."

"Goo-"

"Heh. Did you really think I would say that? Idiot." the girl laughed maliciously as she walked around and past him.

"Grr!"

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Will you stop this already?" the girl finally demanded.

Naruto had become a wall to block her path again. The girl had stubbornly tried to move past him, but whatever she tried he always seemed to be there.

The blond boy just stood there like a sentinel, his smile stretched to its utmost limit giving him a distinctly foxlike appearance. Of course, he would be lying if he wasn't deriving some sort of enjoyment from this after being on the other end for so long. But it was harmless fun, so it should be alright? Right?

"I'll buy you a bowl of ramen if you let me pass."

Naruto would normally jump at the opportunity, however...

"Do you have the money?" he demanded in a rather rude tone that caused the girl to frown.

She reached into a sleeve of her kimono and pulled out a small brown bag. She shook it up and down a few times, metallic clinks filling the air indicated that her bag had something inside.

"Show me what's inside."

She frowned before loosening the drawstring on the bag and shook something out. One thing only. Or at least she tried to. Instead, everything poured out and ended up scattered onto the floor.

It wasn't much, but it still made a mess. The girl growled.

Her growl sounded kind of cute. But Naruto knew that he had better help or else.

23 ryo and a small jade medallion, that's how much they ended up picking up off the ground.

"Are you happy now?" she asked, glaring at him as she gave a sharp unneeded yank on the drawstring of her money pouch before hiding it away.

"Yup," he cheerfully replied without an ounce of guilt. It wasn't his fault for being cautious, this girl...she had tricked him before.

And with that he stepped aside, only to gape as she turned around and walked off.

"Hey hey hey! The ramen stand is that way!" he called out.

"I'm going this way," the small girl replied as she continued on her way.

"But..." he started to say, but she wasn't stopping to listen. "Hey! We had a deal!"

"I never said now," came a somewhat distant reply.

Which was true actually. But so help him, Naruto was going to get his ramen. "Hey, wait up!"

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Leave me alone already..." the small girl grumbled.

"Nuh uh. Not without my ramen."

"..."

"..."

Naruto gave the girl a hard slap on the back in what was supposed to be a friendly gesture. She gave a yelp as she stumbled forward somewhat before he caught her by throwing one arm over her shoulder and using his other hand to steady her.

"So the ramen is this way -ttebayo," he said as he blatantly tried to turn her around.

No luck. "Do not touch me," the girl angrily ordered as she started to squirm in his grip. "Let me go!"

And then she was free, and on her way again.

When Naruto chased after her this time, a small grin was creeping its way onto his face. She didn't know it, but her kimono was now sporting an academy grade explosive tag on its backside. Now he just needed to wait for her to return to her mansion. That'll teach her.

But the girl wasn't in a hurry. And it was too quiet when nobody was saying anything.

Naruto finally decided to break the silence.

"I'm hungry. Aren't you hungry?"

"..."

"Where are you going anyway?"

"..."

"What time is it?"

"..."

"Say something!"

"..."

But she didn't. And silence filled the air again.

"Are we there yet?" He finally asked.

"..."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"You asked that already."

"So you're listening."

"I'm not."

"You are -ttebayo!"

"..." She stopped speaking right there.

Several more minutes of silence passed. Once again, it was Naruto that broke it.

"But I really am hungry. Aren't you?"

"...No."

"..." The tone in her voice had suggested that he wasn't going to get a positive reply if he asked again.

"..."

Grasping around, he finally hit upon something else to say.

"...So hey. I was taking a walk the other night. And it was really really dark..."

"..." Naruto didn't see Hanabi stumble midstep before she continued as if nothing happened.

"...so then, I heard a loud noise behind me. It surprised me. But when I turned to look, there was nothing there."

"..."

"..."

"Yesterday, Old man Teuchi was really nice."

"..."

"There was an extra helping of meat in one of my bowls. I thanked him afterwards."

"..."

"Ne ne, I'm planning on going to training ground three tomorrow to salvage for leftover ninja equipment. Do you want to come along?"

"..."

"How come you're outside anyway? Shouldn't you be training at this time?"

He wasn't the most observant, but when the girl stilled, Naruto couldn't help but feel that he had stepped on a landmine.

The girl stood there trembling for what seemed like forever. Reaching a tentative hand out, he quickly drew back when he heard her small voice.

"F-father..."

And then the girl exploded. "Father prefers Onee-sama!"

"Eh?!"

Before he could react, there was a rapid pat pat pat as the girl took off running.

-o-o-o-o-o-

_Unknown to either child, a shadow was following them. The shadow had been following them since the academy. It had been an idle curiosity at first, but more and more now it looked like an amazing opportunity._

-o-o-o-o-o-

"...," he looked at her.

"...," she continued to stare.

"This isn't your mansion," he finally said.

"It isn't."

"This is my apartment," he grasped.

"Yes."

"What are we doing here?"

"Flowers."

"Huh?"

"You have flowers. You told me last time."

"Oh yeah! Did you finally want to see them? I'm growing them on the roof."

"Roof," the girl quietly repeated as she started walking to the metal stairwell on the side of the building, only to stop at the first step.

"It's falling apart," was the girl's blunt observation..

It was true, but she could have been nicer about it. A three story structure. Old and decrepit. Located at the outskirts of the village. Cracks decorated the walls and vines and other greenery grew up the sides. It could be really chilly in the winter and roasting during the summer. It was a nice day today though, but he preferred being outside on those days.

Naruto was the only one living here. Even the apartment manager lived in another building some way aways. Since he was the only one here, it was a pain in the ass when he needed something repaired since it could be weeks before someone would come by. Like the water from last night. He'd been waiting two weeks now. He planned on fixing it himself pretty soon if this kept up.

"Hahaha, yeah. But since no one lives here but me, it's basically all mine -ttebayo."

And then the girl started walking again, her wooden sandals clanging on the metal mesh stairs as she made her way up one...two flights of stairs before stopping to look around. Then she continued upwards again.

When he finally realized that he was following her, they were on the roof. It was the perfect place for Naruto to host a garden. There was plenty of sunlight, and he had no worries of the flower pots blowing away during a storm due to the waist-high walls that surrounded every side of the roof. They were taller than Hanabi actually.

Naruto's idea was to cover the entire roof with flowers. He had started the initial batch in a corner with the most light during the Spring. Of course, since it was a new idea, Naruto's garden wasn't even three months old so there wasn't much to show for it yet. Still, one of his flowers was in full bloom already. A soft pink rose which reminded him of Sakura-chan. And that happened to be the one that Hanabi promptly plucked.

Noooo! Mr. Ukki! Forgive me! Your cousin was killed in action!

"Oi! What'd you do?!"

Hanabi shrunk back, intimidated by his shout. "I took a flower."

"So heartless! You murdered Ms. Saki!"

The girl still didn't understand. "It's just a flower."

"Ms. Saki wasn't just a flower, she was Mr. Ukki's cousin!"

As Naruto blubbered over the flower, Hanabi could only glance around uncomfortably. It was just a flower.

She stopped to stare when she saw someone that she didn't recognize walking up the steps. He was a silver-haired ninja with his forehead protector attached to a black bandanna. There was a dark expression on his face. It disappeared quickly when he caught her staring at him.

Without wasting a moment, Hanabi tugged on the sleeve of the boy the boy clad in orange.

Her action caused Naruto to stop ranting and stare at her before he in the direction that she was looking.

"Mizuki-sensei?" Naruto asked, recognizing the incoming figure as Hanabi quickly hid behind him. Neither of the two children noticed the teacher's eye narrow slightly at that.

"Yo. Fine weather today, huh?" the Chuunin assistant instructor greeted in a pleasant tone of voice.

"What are you doing here?" Naruto asked, confused.

"Why, to take the little lady home."

"What?"

A triumphant smirk appeared on the teacher's face.

"I can see that she hasn't told you yet. This girl ran off. I happened to be in the area at the time. So her parents came to me and asked me to look for her."

"Really? What did her parents say?"

"Her mother begged me to bring her back safely."

"Hang on a second," Naruto quickly said as he turned to the smaller girl.

"He's lying," she whispered.

"But he's a teacher and an adult. Don't they usually tell the truth?" Naruto reassured her.

"You believe him?" the small girl demanded in a small voice.

"Yeah" he whispered back. "sorry Hanabi-chan. You should go home now. Your parents are worried for you."

He turned around and beckoned for his teacher to approach.

Taking that as his cue, Mizuki came over with a pleasant smile on his face. He reached out a hand for the small girl to take.

***Smack***

And then, with a casual swipe, Naruto slapped the outstretched hand aside as his eyes narrowed.

"...if you had visited the Hyuugas, you would know that asking for help finding one of their own is the last thing that they would do. Why are you really here, Mizuki-sensei?"

"What if I told them that I knew where their daughter was?"

"They still wouldn't ask -ttebayo. But even if they did, you should know that Hanabi's mother couldn't have asked you for anything."

"Why is that?"

"She's not there. I looked. Several times."

"Heh. You're smarter than I gave you credit for. Not surprising I suppose. It's not like that's your true form after ALL!" his hand formed the tiger seal.

"?!" Hanabi didn't even have time to say a thing when Naruto grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the wall.

And then the concrete barrier exploded.

"What the hell!" the blond boy screeched as the smoke cleared. There was a gaping hole where a wall used to be. Of his new garden...it was gone.

"You avoided it?"

"Are you kidding? If I hadn't we would have died!"

"I'm pretty sure that was the idea," Mizuki dryly commented.

Naruto was taken aback. "What?!"

"What's going on?!" the small girl next to him asked, her eyes wide as panic started to set in.

"Well, no matter." the teacher said with an easy shrug as he lowered himself into a solid stance. "This works out better anyway. Let's just say that you assassinated the Hyuuga heiress and I was here to keep you from getting away."

"What do you mean?" the boy asked in a confused tone, trying to wrap his head around this situation.

"Sorry Naruto-kun, the explosion is going to draw attention so I don't have much time to explain things," And then he dashed at them.

It would be nice to say that there was an epic battle. But in reality, there is a big difference between a Chuunin and a student from the academy. As it stands, Naruto barely had time to push Hanabi aside before he was sent flying by Mizuki's push. Right through the new hole in the wall and off the roof.

His screams ended with a distant sounding crunch.

With that, Mizuki dusted off his hands before drawing a kunai.

"Sorry little lady, but in order for me to avoid trouble you are going to have to die."

But the girl wasn't listening. "What's going on?" she repeated over and over again to herself as she ran to the edge only to stop and fall to her knees right before she reached the precipice. She slowly leaned forward, afraid for what she would find below.

Mizuki couldn't help but grin. "Well, that makes it easier," he said as he started to walk toward the distracted girl, a kunai spinning in his grip.

"Like hell!"

It was almost perfect. Almost. Had Naruto not shouted, he would have succeeded in getting the drop on an unsuspecting Chuunin.

As it stands, announcing his presence allowed his opponent to gracefully dodge the jump kick with a minor flourish. Naruto was left stuck in that critical moment where he was still in midair and unable to defend against a counterattack.

Which Mizuki gladly delivered with a vicious kick to the boy's unprotected backside. Launching him right off the building's edge again.

"Aaaaaaaaah!"

"?!" Amidst the yelling from the boy, there was an impact and a squeak of pain and surprise.

It turns out that staying near the edge of a building's rooftop is a bad idea if there's nothing keeping you from falling down and objects are flying everywhere. During his second impromptu flight, Naruto was unable to keep himself from tackling the youngest Hyuuga heir, unwittingly ripping her from her spot and taking her down with him.

As the two hurtled toward the unyielding ground in a mass of tangled limbs, Naruto finally managed to pull himself free. However, instead of reaching for the tree branches like last time, he held the terrified girl in a tight hug as he subtly angled them so that he would hit the ground first.

This was going to hurt.

Especially when, in his panic-stricken vision, he saw their attacker slowly approaching them from above, a knife held high above his head.

Now what? He had to cushion the girl from the fall, but her backside was unprotected.

And then he remembered.

Naruto grinned as his hands formed a seal from Hanabi's backside.

Mizuki himself seemed to realize what was happening as well when his eyes widened.

And then a massive cloud of smoke erupted into the air, starting from the tag on the back of the girl's kimono.

The impact with the ground happened a second later, knocking the wind right out of him as his organs felt like they were being flattened to a pulp.

His body screamed in agony, but he didn't have any time to just lay there and rest. Instead, realizing that he was protecting someone, he was already in motion, swiveling Hanabi around so that she was underneath him.

He grinned at the small girl under him. It couldn't have been a pretty sight as his teeth were starting to turn red with blood. "Sleep a little, ne? Hanabi-chan? I'll take care of this."

She nodded in mute horror, not understanding a word of what he had just said.

But the expected stab did not come immediately.

"Of course you would survive the fall. It's you after all," Mizuki laughed hollowly. He raised the kunai in his hand high above the air, "try surviving this then."

Then the kunai stabbed into his backside.

"Guh."

It was either fortuitous timing or long experience, but Naruto shifted forward just enough that the knife struck a less critical spot. Still, Naruto's vision darkened for a near instant as he let out another gasp.

And then the kunai was ripped out, eliciting a shriek of pain. From underneath him, Hanabi's shriek added to his own as the unearthly wail from terrified her.

"You're still alive?! Die already!" Mizuki roared as he stabbed down again.

When it hit, Naruto couldn't suppress it anymore. Mindful of the girl underneath him, Naruto barely managed to turn his head before he nearly hacked his lungs out, blood spewing in flecks out with each cough. Anger seized him.

Mizuki stumbled back as the boy, that should be dead, pushed himself to his feet with a loud roar before turning to him.

"Mizuki-sensei, why are you doing this?" the blond boy angrily demanded, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.

"W-Why?!" The gray haired man took a step back, unable to comprehend the scene before him. It was a critical hit, the boy should have died immediately.

"WHY!" the blond boy roared again before he nearly fell to his knees again as a fit of coughs surged through his system again.

Seeing this, Mizuki's courage returned.

"You're all the same. You're all the same! I was an orphan too! What do you have that I don't?!" he asked, shaking in rage.

"Huh?"

"Why do you two get all the luck?! Why are you getting treated better than I was?!"

"Wha-wha?"

"You know what I've found out? If you want people to acknowledge you, you need power."

"To show them how powerful I've become, I'm going to kill you."

"You who killed hundreds of ninja in one night. By killing you, I'll show that I'm the strongest."

Before he could reply, demand for an explanation, Naruto was forced to bend over as a kunai stabbed him in the gut.

"Slime!" the girl cried out in horror.

"that's...mean...-bi-chan!" Naruto managed to gasp out before he reflexively sucked in air as Mizuki pushed the kunai in deeper. He started to cough again, blood filling the air.

"You win! You win! You've shown that you're strong. Let us go!" Hanabi screamed.

"You think I'm going to let you go?" Mizuki mocked.

"Errrgh" Naruto groaned as he fought the painshakily raised an arm toward the quickly pointed at the bystander. "Run...I...got...this..."

The girl took a step back. Then another. "I-I...sorry Slime!" Then she turned and did just that.

"Jeez...it's...Na-ru...to...," Soon afterward, Naruto went limp.

"Heh. I did it." A hollow feeling seemed to fill Mizuki as he dropped the body and walked away. Now he had to find the girl.

A slight scraping noise made him stop. He hesitated before turning around, not wanting to confirm it. But he did turn around.

Naruto was slowly getting to his feet.

"Why?! Why won't you die?! Am I still weak?!"

Naruto let out a cough as he clutched his abdomen.

"Played dead." the boy rasped with a grimace as red rapidly blossomed right where he held the new stab wound. He took a deep breath before he raised his head to stare defiantly at his instructor.

"Why won't I die? Because I can't! Not until Hanabi-chan is safe!" he ended the last part shakily, but loudly.

"Safe? Safe?! Once I'm done with you, I'll get rid of her!"

"I won't let you!"

"You'll be dead!"

"I'll come back as a ghost to stop you!"

"Hah! A ghost?! What are you going to do, pass right through me?!"

"Shut up! I'll find a way"

"I'd like to see you try! Now die!" the Chuunin ordered as he plunged a kunai right into the boy again.

"Gufah."

"Finally," Mizuki sighed in relief as he stared at the body.

Then it twitched. Terrified, the Chuunin punted the body away.

When he finally skidded to a stop next to the stairs, Naruto slowly staggered to his feet. It hurt so much!

"What the fuck! Give it up already! I'm a Chuunin. You're not even out of the academy yet! You haven't even laid a scratch on me yet!"

With a pained grunt, Naruto ripped the kunai from his gut again. The gut, twice! What was Mizuki trying to pull?! Ergh, it hurt! Or maybe it was because of his last second actions keeping the wounds nonfatal? Ugh, this pain was almost as bad as dying. Kami-sama, maybe he shouldn't have pulled that kunai out. There was so much blood. Coughing harshly, he collected his breath before he slowly straightened up.

"Have you ever had someone to protect before?" the blond boy demanded quietly.

"..."

"Yeah well, I haven't. But you know what? I have one this time."

"..."

"And guess what? This might be the only time that it ever happens. So I'm not going to screw this up. I'll make sure that she gets out alive -ttebayo."

He raised his head, fire seemed to burn in his eyes. "I'm not giving u-"

Mizuki sucker punched him, sending the boy sprawling several meters, a red spot appearing on the concrete everytime the boy bounced. He slid to a stop in front of the first set of stairs to his apartment. Mizuki remained where he was standing, right next to the first set of stairs.

Naruto slowly stood up again. The kunai was gone from his grip, released when Mizuki sucker punched him.

"What would you know?! Someone to protect? It's impossible! Someone stronger than you always comes and makes it impossible! First it's the drunk! Then it's a god incarnate! Do you know what it's like to stand by and watch helplessly as it happens?!"

Naruto spat out blood as he used the wall to remain upright. "It's true -ttebayo! I haven't!"

"But whatever the hell a Chuunin is, or even if you're god, I'm not going to sit back and let you hurt Hanabi-chan!"

This time Naruto was allowed to scream as loud as he wanted. And he had to or he would collapse right then and there.

"Ahhhhhhh," he cried as he charged...up the stairs.

Mizuki started for a moment before he realized the boy's intention. Whatever, let him come. A weakness of midair attacks is that once they're dodged, the user is unabled to do anything else.

And Naruto delivered. With one motion, awkward from his injuries, he had stopped in the middle of climbing the second set of stairs before slinging himself right over the railing. Using a free leg to kick off from the side, he launched himself at the teacher.

Mizuki waited underneath, tensing as he gathered the energy to kill the boy with one final strike.

The trajectory was easy to predict and as it approached, Mizuki started to shift to the left slightly as his kunai started to stab upwards right at his opponent's heart.

A malicious grin appeared on his face as he saw his opponent's eyes widening. It had realized that it had made a mistake.

Then there was a sharp pain to the back of Mizuki's left leg. Right behind the knee. His supporting leg collapsed immediately, causing him to stumble.

Unable to recover, Mizuki only had time to turn his head and see strands of black. And then Naruto happened.

The impact from the boy's foot caused the teacher's head to spin as one of his molars was knocked loose. Dazed and disoriented, the teacher staggered several steps before he fell into the space underneath the stairs.

When Mizuki finally raised his head, a pale-faced Naruto was there in front of him on one knee panting heavily. The daughter of the Hyuuga main branch was next to the boy, trying to help him up.

Blood welled up from a new cut on Naruto's right cheek, slashing through one of the boy's whiskers. "Get it now?" he demanded.

When Naruto saw the small nod from his opponent, the blond boy grinned before pulling his hand from the girl's grip and holding it out for a bonding handshake.

"Then watch after her for me, will you?" And with that, Naruto collapsed, his hand still extended.

Time seemed to stop as the inhabitants tried to process what had happened.

Then there was a loud shriek and time flowed once again. As the girl started trying to wake the boy up, black forms started to enter the clearing as the ninja finally arrived.

-o-o-o-

* * *

Chapter 1 End.

Next Time! Chapter 2: Before the Red Dawn

-o-o-o-

* * *

**Flandre Scarlet**  
_A vampire who, because of her unnaturally strong power that are nigh uncontrollable, has been asked by her sister to stay in her room for four-hundred and...ninety years. _  
- Series: Touhou  
- Family members: Remilia Scarlet (Older sister)  
- Age: 495  
- Species: Vampire

Traits:  
- Easy to distract - _Easy-going_  
- Takes things too far - _good chance of someone dying  
_- Deadly cute - _warning: do not take it literally. Aka, flee on sight or face the consequences.  
_- Lonely - _her strength makes her an outcast, as many run away in fear or keep her at a distance when she appears._  
- Extremely strong physically and magically. - _vampire traits_  
- Enhanced speed granted by being a vampire. - _more vampire traits_  
- Seeker of fun - _After staying in her room for so many years, everything seems new to her. _

Skills:  
- Four of a Kind - _Where there was one, now there are four._  
- Destroy anything - _Has an ability to destroy anything by crushing its "eye"_

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Naruto Uzumaki**  
_The protagonist of, you guessed it, Naruto. He would later be known as the number one must unpredictable ninja. But for now, he's still attending the academy. His henges are a bit strange._

- Series: Naruto  
- Family Members: Kushina Uzumaki (Mother - deceased), Minato Namikaze (Father - deceased)  
- Age: 10  
- Species: Human

Traits:  
- Master of combat - _despite being at an overwhelming disadvantage, can still pull off a victory without a firm strategy by using off-the-wall tactics, extreme courage, inability to give up, and a helpful dose of stupidity.  
_- Trouble-magnet - _with a combination of S-ranked missing nin after his passenger, fate being mean, and a mouth that doesn't know when to stop...he's probably going to die young.  
_- Jinchuuriki - _Houses the nine-tailed fox, Kurama._  
- Nice guy - _Cheers up sad girls. Protects the weak. Saves princesses. Only one of which is actually a trait of a nice guy. But he'll become one of those guys that you'll want as a friend.  
_- Lover of Orange - _Not only because those who can remain undetected while wearing orange are pure awesomeness. Orange is the best color ever!  
_- Lover of Ramen - _Food of the gods!_  
- Fast healer - _When used in conjunction with trouble-magnet, extends life by another 5 seconds._  
- Vulnerable to tests - _He's not truly stupid, but you can say that written tests are one of his weak points._  
- Extremely large chakra reserve - _at least Jounin level  
_- Optimistic _- Sees the positive side of things.  
_- Realist - _dying nearly everyday in dreams can't possibly be healthy. Conflicts with optimism. (Reduces loyalty. Lowers chance of trusting strangers. Not afraid to die. High pain tolerance.)  
_- Survivalist - _Continues trying to find ways to survive up until the end.  
_- Stubborn - _If you disagree with him, you're wrong even if you're right.  
_- Unpredictable _- Does not follow common sense.  
_- Magician _- Don't discount him yet. He's known for making the impossible possible. And not by magic._

Skills:  
- Henge - _This is not the standard ninja disguise technique. Naruto doesn't realize and others haven't realized._

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Hanabi Hyuuga**  
_Hyuuga Hinata's younger sister. Possible heir of the Hyuuga main house. For now, she's just a child._  
- Series: Naruto  
- Family Members: Hyuuga Hiashi (Father), Hyuuga Hinata (Sister), Hyuuga Neji (Cousin)  
- Age: 5  
- Species: Human

Traits:  
- Precocious - _Adultlike for her age_  
- Gullible - _Naruto is her worst enemy._  
- Lazy - _you wouldn't know it, and I probably wasn't supposed to mention this until later_  
- Teacher's pet - _seeks her father's approval_  
- Strategist, and yet...not - _plans are too complicated to execute. She's too optimistic about the results. She doesn't stop when crucial steps fail. And her intentions with a plan are crazy to begin with._

Skills:  
- Byakugan - _By sending chakra to her eyes, Hanabi is granted a one-hundred and eighty degree vision up to a distance of 6 meters for a duration of thirty seconds. In other words, it doesn't improve her normal sight much. I guess she can use it to see through walls if needed.  
_- Jyuuken Level 0 - _Beginner's level._

-o-o-o-

* * *

Author's Notes:  
Okay then. This is a reboot of the original version of Naruto the Combat Butler. While I still don't make Naruto a butler in the first two chapters, I've taken the liberty of leapfrogging the original storyline by about a week so that we start off with a bit of action.

This would be one of my 2nd generation stories featuring improved storytelling skills and more ideas. The problem with a second generation story lies in how long each chapter will take to come out. Still, I like this version of the story better since it gets into the action right away.

-o-o-o-o-o-

(What else?)  
(1) If you're wondering why Hanabi came back when she's just a child, she's 5...Hyuuga pride has been instilled since she was even younger. I'm very certain that she was afraid, but she was probably even more afraid of being frowned upon by her father.  
(2) I tried to fit in a -ttebayo here and there to reflect Naruto's speech pattern. I'm wondering whether I should remove them all completely unless it's appropriate. I agree that they're distracting, but I was thinking it would add atmosphere.

-o-o-o-o-o-

(Further Reads)  
For those Toaru Majutsu no Index fans, have you seen "_A Certain Unknown Level 0_" by **MrQuestionMark**? I'm trying to study that author's writing style because I feel that it's a really dynamic way to storytell while conveying details and events in small manageable paragraphs. But if you're a fan of the Toaru franchise, I think you'll also like the story as well.

-o-o-o-o-o-

(Review Policy)  
Anyway, about reviews: I don't need compliments, I need facts and opinions. Most of what I know of the two series is from the several million words of fanfiction that I've read over the years so I know that a story this complicated is bound to have holes, mistaken beliefs, or other misremembered details. While I'll do the research as I think of questions, I still need reviews to point out what you disagree with.

_For instance, that scene at the end with Mizuki. I like it, but it seems to conflict with Naruto's "Realist" trait. I'm trying to reconcile the difference, but the closest that I've come up with so far is that Naruto is still very much an "optimist" at heart and realism doesn't show up often. The alternative is to change the trait to "Dangerously Reduced fear of death." But I wonder if that's considered a negative trait._

I also need reviews with common event ideas.

_Umm, for instance, I'm still trying to work out how to add the following scene that I saw in "Dog and Scissors."_

_"Choose!" she ordered._

_"Eh?" Naruto took a step back as a black miasma of evil seemed to surround her._

_"(A) Die. (B) Die. (C) Die."_

_"What choice?! All three lead to a bad end!"_

_"Times up. In that case, you will receive A, B, and C and die three times."_

But if you don't review, that's fine as well. As the author writing a story that I would like to read, I acknowledge that I can't depend on others to do my work for me. In addition, I consider myself enough of a fan of both series that it's honor enough to write something like this for them. In other words, I'll just plug in scenes as I think of them. It's how I made this chapter after all.

-o-o-o-o-o-

(Acknowledgements)  
Minders for bringing up some unclear points. I've made some changes to the chapters to clarify some terms that I've been throwing around

-o-o-o-o-o-

(Final thoughts)  
I have general ideas on how both worlds are going to proceed but no real ending. Because of that, think of this as a story that I'll keep playing with until I decide to end it abruptly. Hmm...sort of like a light novel, I suppose. Here's to hoping I get to volume 2.

-o-o-o-

* * *

Last Update For This Chapter: 12/5/2013


	2. Before the Red Dawn

_Naruto? He's pretty unlucky._

-o-o-o-

* * *

I don't own Naruto or Touhou. They are owned by Masashi Kishimoto and ZUN respectively. I am borrowing their characters and their setting without their permission to tell a story.

This chapter is slow. It introduces characters and attempts to explain the spell card rules...most of which can be safely ignored or forgotten. I did seed some tidbits in this chapter that I'll need in future chapters however.

-o-o-o-

* * *

Chapter 2: Before the Red Dawn

-o-o-o-

* * *

"Wake up."

Naruto felt something nudging his side. It felt like someone's toe.

"You should be fine now. Get up."

Naruto felt the nudge again.

"What?" he heard himself reply.

That voice. It sounded dead. It was his, right?

"What happened?" he tentatively asked.

Instead of an answer like he expected, he felt something placed on top of his chest. "Here. Drink."

In his weakened state, his arm barely responded to his thoughts. But he was able to get a firm grasp of whatever it was. Turns out it was a cup of warm tea.

With a significant grunt of effort, he managed to push himself into a sitting position without spilling a drop of the tea.

The girl sitting across from him had an amused expression on her face...probably from seeing his troubles trying to sit up. She was the shrine miko who lived and worked in the Hakurei shrine, she was well known for the large red bow with frills on the tips that held her long brown hair in a ponytail. It was so large that it gave her the appearance of ears or wings on her head. You could tell that she wasn't big on tradition as she wore a modified red and white shrine maiden uniform with detachable sleeves and a red vest. Despite her amusement, her red eyes also had a focused quality to them. It looked like she was watching him closely for some reason.

This girl was Reimu. She wouldn't let him call her anything else. He tried at first. It ended...badly.

With a sip, he tried the tea. Then, finding that he was suddenly feeling very thirsty, he quaffed the rest in a single gulp.

He set the cup down on the tea table nearby before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"More?" she asked as she gestured to the teapot on the side.

He slowly nodded before the crisp sound of tea pouring from the porcelain pot quietly filled the room.

He quaffed this one just as quickly as the first. However, instead of asking for a refill again, he stared down at the still-warm empty cup.

"What time is it?"

"About five in the afternoon," the shrine maiden answered as she pushed forward a small plate used for tea time pastries.

"Have a bite. I just purchased them so they're nice and soft."

Naruto stared at the large sugar-dusted spherical balls sitting on the plate. "What are these?"

"Daifuku," she promptly replied without missing a beat. It wasn't the first time he had asked about an item that everyone should know about.

"Daifuku..." he tested the word on his tongue as he reached forward and snagged a piece. He nibbled on one end before making a face. It tasted plain.

Reimu had to laugh at that. "You need to take a bigger bite. The filling inside is what makes them tasty."

Curious, Naruto popped the rest into his mouth. Only to start choking later when he tried to swallow.

At that, Reimu quickly slid beside the boy before pounding him on the back. "Come on. I'm not healing you again."

Her help wasn't any help at all. In fact, she was probably making it worse since everytime she struck, it felt like the object was sliding further down his windpipe. Still, after several hacks, he was still shaking involuntarily but whatever was blocking his windpipe finally went down his throat in a cough-gulp way. Naruto took several deep and grateful breaths of air before he started coughing again as his throat seemed to burn with pain.

Once the danger had passed, Reimu returned to her spot on the other side of the tea table. She calmly picked up and filled the boy's tea cup before sliding it back over to him. "Mm. Here's some advice. These are chewy, so try not to choke if you try to eat the rest at once."

Naruto quickly slammed a hand to his mouth as his response was to enter another coughing frenzy, halted only by gulping down the rest of his tea. After that, he settled with giving the priestess an evil glare.

Silence descended on the room again as Reimu calmly returned to taking slow sips of her own tea while staring outside at the frightfully warm afternoon. Naruto's glare? It had remarkably similar qualities to a yapping chihuahua. Loud but ultimately unthreatening.

This situation remained for several minutes before Reimu finished the tea in her cup.

That was when the shrine priestess finally broke the silence. "So. What happened?" she asked while placing the empty tea cup down in front of her.

"Huh?" The boy's unintimidating expression changed to one of confusion.

Reimu picked up her teapot and tilted it, only to pause and flip the lid to peer inside. "I come back from a trip to the human village only to find you nearly dead inside of the shrine." As she said this, her gaze sharpened when it landed upon his tattered blood-stained jumpsuit that barely covered his modesty.

She set the teapot down again, leaving her cup empty. "By the way, I barely managed to heal you in time."

"..."

"..."

"Thank you."

The priestess smiled. "Of course,"

"Now then," She casually said as she leaned forward, a steely glint appearing in her eye, "Was a Youkai responsible for your wounds?"

"Huh? No." Naruto said as he shook his head.

The shrine priestess frowned. "I see."

Silence descended on the two.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help."

"Heh, it's fine," Naruto said as he gave her a huge grin and a thumbs up. "It's in good hands now -ttebayo"

His grin was infectious as a weak smile appeared on the girl's face as she sat back. "...Good."

Reimu gestured to the plate again. Hesitant, Naruto slowly picked up another of the treats. He bit into it slowly this time as Reimu watched him closely.

"It looks like you've learned." the shrine priestess finally noticed when the boy finished the morsel without choking this time.

Naruto frowned. "It's not hard."

"I suppose not," Reimu sighed as she stood up. "Alright then. You're welcome to stay, but I'm afraid that I still have some chores to finish today."

She picked up the tea pot. "But first, I need to heat some water for the tea."

Naruto watched as Reimu entered the kitchen. She came out a few minutes later. Steam rose from the tea pot's spout indicating that she had added some hot water. Placing the tea pot onto the tea table, she made her way to the sliding door that led to the backyard. With a swift yank, Reimu had the sliding door open with a loud clack.

"Oi! Genjii! Wake up! It's time to work," she shouted in the direction of the large koi pond sitting in the middle of the yard.

Nothing happened.

And then, from the pond, what seemed to be a small island in the middle suddenly erupted upwards as it basically shot into the air. When the white foam of the water spout cleared, a turtle shell could be seen flying in midair using the front two flippers to "swim".

When Genji's wizened old head popped out from within the shell, the turtle proceeded to the next step. Banking in midair, he curved around for an approach vector.

And then he glided to a stop in front of Reimu.

"You called, Mistress?" the old turtle with a beard asked, looking upwards at the shrine maiden.

"So slow!" the shrine maiden reproached the large turtle that was less than half her height but wide enough for an adult to sit upon his shell comfortably.

Naruto quickly scrambled to his feet and made his way over. He could count on one hand how many times Reimu had shown him this giant turtle. However, the one point that stuck out to him was that the old fogey could fly. And right now, the blond-haired boy in orange couldn't. Not yet.

"Reimu! Can I borrow him when you're done?"

The shrine maiden sighed and held her forehead before she turned to her guest. "I'm getting rather tired of that question. I've already told you that you can keep him."

"But he won't let me keep him."

Reimu sighed again. "Beat him into the ground then. He's weak and useless, it should be easy."

"Mistress!" The turtle started crying at his contractor's wicked tongue.

"But he can fly! Have you seen that damn bastard fight? It's cheap! He stays high in the air and pelts the ground with exploding bubbles."

"I managed to capture him when I couldn't fly," the shrine priestess muttered before she sighed. "Whatever." She turned to the turtle, "Genji! I order you to stay on the ground for this next fight."

"Mistress!" The turtle started crying harder.

"There, turtle can't fly. Problem solved. Now stop asking for the turtle and take him off my hands already."

"Hear that! You belong to me now -ttebayo!"

Oof!

That was the sound of Naruto folding like a house of cards when the turtle closed the distance in the blink of an eye and rammed head-first right into the boy's gut.

"Insolent youngling. The day I belong to you is the day that I see the Mistress' great great grandmother."

Genji was apparently holding back since Naruto sprung back up almost immediately with a retort, "Isn't she dead?!"

**Smack! **

That was the sound of Naruto being clubbed on the head by a large flipper.

"Show some respect for your ancestors."

"My ancestor?! We're related?!"

**Smack!**

"Gaah!"

"Of course not you ninny."

From on the ground, Naruto rolled up his sleeves before he jumped to his feet again. "Okay -ttebayo, I don't have to take this!"

**Smack! Smack!**

"What's wrong youngling? This should be easy, right?"

"I'm not done with you yet..."

**Smack!**

"Ayayaya," a girl called out as she descended against the orange-red backdrop of a setting sun. She landed at the rear entrance to the shrine, her black wings folding neatly behind her back. "I smell a scoop. Let's see, how about, 'Human Boy Challenges Ancient Turtle Youkai'"

The newcomer was a tengu named Aya Shameimaru. She's an insatiable gossip who runs the Bunbunmaru Newspaper. In her pursuit for good stories, she generally makes a nuisance of herself. While it is true that she hasn't outright lied in any of her stories, she has been known to greatly stretch the truth and interject her own personal opinions in order to make them more exciting.

**Smack!**

"I-Is that all you got?"

**Smack!**

"Screw you!"

**Smack!**

"Raaargh!

**Smack!**

What the hell! I didn't even get to move this time!"

**Smack! Smack! Smack!**

The tengu slowly lowered her pen as the boy continued to have his ass handed to him in such a sad manner.

"Shouldn't you put a stop to this?" she finally asked, turning to the shrine priestess seated at the tea table, nonchalantly drinking her tea.

"Not my problem," was the calm reply the shrine miko casually replied as she reached over and plucked a daifuku from the pyramid of treats.

"..."

**Smack! **

She nibbled one end of the daifuku before waving the remainder back and forth in the air. "Besides, if he dies, he has that ability to come back at full health the next day," she paused to finish off the treat before staring into her teacup. "Or so I thought. When he appeared today, he was almost dead."

Aya nodded "That explains his clothes." she paused, before she raised her notepad. "But the boy himself looks fine, did you heal him?"

Reimu slowly nodded.

She was right to be cautious.

"Ehehehehe," Aya cackled oddly as she placed her feather quill to paper. However, before she had a chance to write anything, the quill had disappeared from her hand. Face still set in the mad docter expression, the black winged girl casually glanced over to where it laid on the ground. Lying beside it was a charm, the perpetrator that knocked the quill from her grip. Her gaze flicked back up towards Reimu. Judging from the new charm that Reimu was currently holding between her index and pointer finger, it was probably the local shrine maiden who had thrown it.

"Whatever you're thinking, get rid of it," Reimu ordered with narrowed eyes.

"But all stories where the boy is badly wounded has the girl stripping down naked because they need full body contact to maximize the heal's effectiveness."

"That didn't happen"

"W-What?!"

From the crow Tengu's shocked expression, it was like she couldn't comprehend the possibility that Reimu's emergency heal did not require skinship.

"I can try it out on you. But I have to warn you," Reimu said in a singsong tone of voice as she reached forward with one hand, a red glow surrounding it. "there's a possibility that it wouldn't heal the Youkai but purify them instead."

"L-Let's not be hasty here. I'm perfectly fine. See?"

"So it seems," Reimu sighed as she pulled back, the glow disappearing from her hand. "Aya. About why you are here."

"Ayayaya, is it about the new dueling rules?"

"Yes. Wait here for a moment while I pick up the draft," Reimu murmured as she stood up.

"I'd...rather not," the Tengu had an awkward tone in her voice as she tilted her head slightly toward the shameful display going on in the background.

"Suit yourself. Come inside then," the shrine miko said, unperturbed.

As Aya removed her sandals and stepped inside, Reimu entered a back room. She came out a moment later with a scroll tied by a gold thread.

"Read it over and let me know what you think."

"Ayayaya, to ask little old me to take part in something groundbreaking as this. I'm so honored."

"Just tell me what you think."

"Ah, let's see then." It didn't take long for Aya to unbind the scroll and unroll it. "To all youkai,"

"Nice start." the tengu commented to which Reimu just raised an eyebrow in warning. The youkai quickly continued reading. "There is concern that dueling between youkai may cause the small land of Gensokyo to collapse. However, if youkai are unable to fight, their power will gradually vanish. Therefore, I will propose a contract based on these four concepts:  
_That youkai can easily cause disasters.  
That humans can easily resolve disasters.  
That deciding victors solely based on strength is unacceptable.  
That there is nothing superior to elegance and thought."_

"This is it?" the tengu asked. "Where are the rules of the contract?"

"I was going to finish it today, but I was distracted," Reimu flicked a thumb toward the beatdown going on the background. Can you come by **tomorrow **to pick up the finished notice?"

The emphasis was hard to miss. "Why can't I stay and watch?"

"Aya. The only reason I'm even letting you publish the rules is that you promised that it would be the only article in the next edition of your newspaper. It will be the only article, correct?"

"But it needs some news to spice it up a bit. A newspaper focusing only on new dueling rules would be boring otherwise."

"This is important. I don't want any other stories distracting the Youkai from the rules of the new dueling system."

"But-"

"I said no."

"Don't be like that. You were in the most recent edition of Bunbunmaru. A well-written piece of work, I must say. Worthy of awards and accolades. Have you seen it? One of the articles had nothing but praise for your work on this new dueling system."

"Yes actually."

"You did?!" Aya's surprise soon turned into a happy dance, "Ayayaya, This is good news! Bunbunmaru Newspaper's subscriber base has grown by one!"

The happiness was not infectious. In fact, Reimu had a sour expression on her face. "Hey. Aya. I need to ask you something. You wrote that article, right?"

"Of course!"

"Do you remember what was in between 'It's incomprehensible. Who in their right minds would choose this ' and ' to create the rules for a competition of skill and beauty'?"

"How could I forget? I spent the better part of a minute coming up with something appropriate to call you."

"You called me a 'lazy tea drinking ogre'"

"I'm just writing how I see it," the tengu proudly proclaimed.

Reimu just stood there gritting her teeth, her fist shaking.

"So, now that you're a new fan of the newspaper, it's okay for me to spice up this next edition, right?"

"No."

"But..."

"I said no. We have a time and place for 'how you see things' and this isn't it." the shrine priestess shot back. "Besides..."

"Eh?" Aya looked on in curiosity at what the shrine priestess was going to do next.

"...Once was more than enough," Reimu coldly stated, the demon exterminating talisman once again in her hand.

Aya quickly started backing away, her hands making a placating gesture. "Alright alright, you've made your point. I'll stop by tomorrow in the morning for a SHORT article to put in a really SHORT newspaper."

"Just go already!" Reimu shot back as she raised the talisman threateningly.

Aya was soon outside after putting her sandals back on. With a flap of her wings, the tengu was already in the air. With another flap, she was zooming off into the sky. She moved so quickly that a small star could probably be seen where she finally disappeared from view. The Tengu's boast about being the fastest in Gensokyo wasn't for nothing.

Minutes passed...

And then, Reimu transformed the one talisman in her hand into an entire fan of them using a deft swipe of her thumb. This small trick was possible because she had been holding not just one talisman but a whole stack of them when she had threatened Aya earlier!

Closing her eyes and offering a quick prayer, she released every single one of the talismans with one swift flick of the wrist. Upon leaving her hand, the holy charms followed their launched trajectory for a brief second before they glowed a bright blue and twisted in midair to home in toward a nearby tree. There was a frantic squawk of surprise and Aya quickly shot off into the air, trailing leaves in her wake. The talismans zooming closely after her, some supernatural force urging them on.

A faint cry of "belligerent stingy lazy tea-drinking ogre!" could be heard from the rapidly retreating Youkai.

With a snarl, Reimu pulled out a second group of talismans before hurling them at the fading dot in the distance. These shot off just as quickly as the first set.

Satisfied, Reimu turned toward what was left of the fight in her backyard. It looks like the fight was almost over with Genji in the superior position.

"What's wrong youngling? I thought this was supposed to be easy." the giant turtle taunted as he pressed down, grinding the boy's lips into the grass.

"Mmmph!" Of course Naruto was pissed, but in his position he wasn't able to do anything.

"Alright Genjii. Leave the brat alone. It's time to make you a little less useless."

"Mistress!" The massive all-terrain reptile called out happily. "How may I assist you?"

Since she was inside of the shrine already, Reimu turned and made her way to the tea table. Genji flew through the back entrance soon afterwards, taking care to descend slightly to avoid the sliding door's lintel.

Once he landed on an open spot on the floor, Reimu started.

"It was up to you to fulfill the youkai's request to create a safer kind of dueling

"Only because you didn't want to do it yourself..." the turtle muttered.

"I demand a rematch -ttebayo!" Naruto shouted as he entered.

"...I want to hear what you've come up with. Let's start from the beginning," Reimu continued without missing a beat as a yin yang orb seemed to materialize in her hand.

Naruto promptly grunted and folded over as the orb smacked into his gut hard enough to eject him from the shrine. He landed in the grass outside.

"Very well," the turtle acquiesced with a nod, ignoring the sideshow. At this point it looked like, if he could, the turtle would be stroking his beard like a wise old man in deep contemplation. "Mistress, you are in charge of maintaining the barriers protecting Gensokyo from the outside. As you know, there is almost no magic in the outside world. It is the Great Hakurei Boundary that prevents this same event from happening here as well by preventing the magic from escaping to the outside world. There were some close calls lately, but thankfully no one has lost control of a large spell and destroyed the barrier. That's why we are creating this new dueling system in the first place. To keep large spells in che-"

"Get on with it Genji, I know this already."

"The Hakurei barrier needs magic to power and maintain itself. The magic in this realm is sufficient for that purpose. However, it only needs so much magic. The rest, it releases back into the air. In essence, all magic that's in the air comes from and goes to the Hakurei Barrier."

Reimu drummed her fingers on the table impatiently.

"Patience Mistress. I need to lay the groundwork for what comes next."

"I'll show you patience," Reimu muttered as she continued drumming her fingers.

"The magic given off by the barrier is for everyone to use, and most of the inhabitants of Gensokyo freely use this magic. Because there were no significant restrictions before, most of the Youkai that rely on this ambient magic to exist or to fight do not realize that they must follow the whims of the barrier. That will change once you make alterations to the barrier's behavior. However, they will come to understand once we convey to them that this is being done to protect the magic in the realm."

"I can adjust the barrier to do that. But I don't see how that would stop Youkai from fighting?"

"You are indeed correct. It does not. Youkai will still be able to fight, however what we are doing is asking the barrier to deny magic to any spells with intent to attack another. Without magic to power them, spells cannot be used. This includes the massive spells that we are concerned about."

"Okay."

"I have not mentioned this before, but you must keep in mind that you cannot control all magic spells. Magic that has not yet touched the barrier will remain out of your control. In particular, those spells that Youkai power using their own magic."

"Their own magic?"

"For very tiny spells, most Youkai should be able to generate enough magic to power the spell. This is not a problem. However, there are some Youkai that can generate significantly more magic. They will be able to cast significantly more powerful spells without assistance from the barrier. Should they lose control of that spell, the barrier may be in danger again. I am afraid that, should they create problems, you will have to deal with it personally. Thankfully, the Great Boundary should have more power than any single youkai in Gensokyou, so you have a powerful force to draw upon if necessary."

Reimu nodded.

"Shall I go over the rules next?" Genji offered.

"Please."

"We have already agreed on the following: If you are defeated in a naming duel, acknowledge the loss even if you can still fight. If victorious against a human, the Youkai may not kill the human. Repeating an attack is not allowed. The attack must have a name and a pattern."

"Are you really sure that we can't just say, 'powerful attacks are not allowed'? That would solve all of our problems at once."

"We are aiming for a fair set of rules. Because the most powerful attack by lesser Youkai would barely match the weakest attack of a greater Youkai, it would be a significant handicap to the lesser Youkai if they were not allowed to utilize their strongest attacks. This rule would be considered subjective and the lesser Youkai would not be happy with it."

"Che. Fine," Reimu grumbled, drumming her fingers on the tea table. "What else?"

"These rules should be written upon the spell cards."

"You've mentioned spell cards several times already. What are they?"

The turtle sighed. "Mistress, I have stated repeatedly that adjusting the Hakurei barrier is only one part of the solution. We will use spell cards to complete the rest."

"Huh?"

The turtle had to sigh again. "Spell cards are the named cards that we should use for each attack. You need to make them with the paper used for contracts with Youkai. Doing so will force the Youkai to follow the rules listed on the contract."

A frustrated look developed on Reimu's face. "But why do we need them?"

"As we've already covered, once you have adjusted the Hakurei barrier, the scale of fighting will lessen because the barrier will not give magic to those spells with an intent to attack another. We can prevent the destruction of the Hakurei barrier by powerful uncontrolled spells when most spells cannot be cast in the first place. However, you must remember that that was not the only goal. We wish for the Youkai to fight in order to prevent their power from disappearing."

"That is where the contracts come in," Genji continued when Reimu finally nodded. "First, in addition to adjusting the barrier to discourage magic use, you **must **also alter it so that those possessing contracts with your blessing will be allowed to use the magic specified on the contract."

"As I have said before, you will write the rules for the duels upon the contracts themselves. Should the Youkai create a spell card using one of these contracts, they signify that they have agreed to the terms. Most of them will be forced to follow the rules of the contract even if they disagree with any of the rules."

"What about humans?"

"Youkai contracts are an agreement between humans and Youkai only. In theory, humans that sign a Youkai contract will not be bound by the rules listed on the contract. This means that, aside from those that the contract itself can enforce, humans may choose which rules they wish to disregard. However, keep in mind that their magic is still bound by the Hakurei barrier. As a result, like Youkai, the barrier will not permit humans to use its power unless they hold a contract with your blessing."

"And that means...?"

"If you wish to prevent a human from using magic, do not give them a contract."

"So once the barrier is changed, you'll need to hold one of her contracts if you want to use the barrier's magic to fight?" a third voice wondered.

"Correct. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day I suppose."

"..." From his silence, it was obvious that the boy didn't get it.

"...idiot." the turtle coughed.

"Hey!"

"This is going to be such a pain." the shrine miko grumbled, returning to the topic at hand. "Fine, I'll do it. But I'm not going to write up these contracts just so a Youkai can waste it to create a spell card for a single punch or kick. They can do that without a card."

"Then I propose an additional rule. Meaningless attacks are not allowed."

"Meaningless attacks? Couldn't we just say basic attacks?"

"'Meaningless' sounds more elegant don't you think, Mistress?"

"I have a feeling I'm going to be explaining that one a lot," the Miko sighed. "Alright, if you believe that the other Youkai would appreciate it more then we'll keep it." She stood up and made her way to the shrine's study.

"Thank you Mistress!"

"Alright then, let's give this a try," Reimu said as she came back out with a stack of contract papers. She pulled one off of the stack before listing out the necessary rules.  
_If you are defeated in a naming duel, acknowledge the loss even if you can still fight.  
If victorious against a human, the Youkai may not kill the human.  
Repeating an attack is not allowed.  
The attack must have a name and a pattern.  
Meaningless attacks are not allowed._

That done, she held a hand out and concentrated. Before long, the contract shrunk until it took the form of a card. The design on the front had what looked like a circle lined with cards.

Reimu, beaming at her progress so far quickly picked up the card and made her way out the front entrance before floating into the air. Seconds later, a sphere of charms exploded outwards. Those charms that hit an obstruction vanished with a pop. For those blades of grass that were hit, they swayed slightly but there was no explosion or evaporation of grass.

Success!

Or was it? Reimu touched down lightly soon afterwards and stepped inside. Both of her guests, well, one freeloader and one visitor, were impressed.

She came in fanning herself with a blank card in a flaunting display of pride and accomplishment. Looking at Naruto, Reimu proceeded to point at him with the card. "Okay then, everyone must be able to play by these rules. Everyone. So, brat...no offense to you, but you're definitely on the weaker side."

_"Hey!"_

_"Obviously," the turtle scoffed._

_"You want another go at it, you fossil?"_

_"These old bones are done demonstrating the stark difference between our levels," the turtle airily said, waving off the threat._

_"Scared?"_

_"Of you? no."_

"I need to see what your power level will be like with these rules so it's your turn to make one now. Plus you can come back if you die, so you'll also be useful for testing if the spell cards are lethal." Reimu continued as the byplay occured in the background.

"Listen!" Reimu shouted as she slammed a palm on the table causing the dish of sweet-filling treats to jump and land with a clatter. The two arguing in the background immediately stilled their mouths.

"You. Sit," she ordered, gesturing to the spot next to her hand.

Naruto hurried to obey without question.

Reimu removed her hand, revealing a prepared document underneath. "Okay, just imagine what your spell is going to look like, then imagine pushing it into this contract."

Naruto stared at the card, thinking of what he had just seen.

And then he stared, and continued to stare.

And when he couldn't stare anymore, he turned to Reimu.

"Well?" she impatiently demanded.

"Did I manage to make one?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course you didn't."

"I didn't? Maybe it's defective."

Reimu took a look, before she pulled another contract sheet off the stack and wrote the appropriate rules upon it.

"I doubt it. But I'll humor you just this time. Now try again. Be serious this time." She said as she slid it in front of the boy.

"..."

This time, Naruto stared at the new contract under his hand. He stared until his face gained a rather pinched look remarkably similar to one someone would have when they're having trouble on the toilet.

"Alright, stop." Reimu commanded.

When he glanced at her, Naruto saw that she was unamused.

"It seems like you really can't stop messing around."

"I'm not!"

Reimu ignored him as she pulled a third contract from the stack and she filled it out before throwing it before Genji.

"Alright Genji. You do it."

"Hah! That turtle?!"

"Gladly, mistress."

After the yellow glow died down, the turtle had a card of his own. The design on the front looked like a bubbles grouped together in what looked like multiple curved laser beams.

Genji had a smug grin on his face. On his first try too. Naruto's jaw dropped while Reimu turned a harsh glare toward the boy.

Before Reimu could chew him out, a shadow swooped down from the sky.

"Oi! Reimu! There was some crazy charms flying from here a moment ago. Anyway, I need a place to stay for the next week -ze!"

The newcomer was a blond-haired human magician who wears a floppy pointed navy-blue witch's hat with a large pink ribbon. She was currently riding a broom side-saddle as it slowly descended the last few centimeters before hovering about a meter off of the ground.

"Oh hey! The kid's here."

"Marisa!" Naruto called out to the newcomer.

"That's my name, don't wear it out!" Marisa shot back just as energetically as she made a gun gesture with her right hand and,

"Bang!" playfully pretended to shoot at the boy while giving him a megawatt grin.

With a swift hop, she dismounted from her hovering broom and landed lightly on the ground, her broom in hand.

"So, about the living arrangements. I was thinking that since your room wa-"

"De-nied."

"What? Aww, c'mon. Don't be like that -ze! We're pals, right?"

"Yeah! Let her stay!"

Reimu turned toward the boy at the table her eyes narrowed and a frown on her face. "Get back to work," she ordered.  
"See! This is why I like you kid!" Marisa said at the same time.

"Teach me magic Marisa!" Naruto called out, completely ignoring Reimu.

"Sure! But first, how is your progress on magic circles?"

"I've been trying everyday, but aside from that puff of smoke from..." he paused as he started counting using his fingers. "...a while back...nothing."

"Really?! A-chaaa, I thought that you were onto something big when something actually happened with that summoning circle," Marisa griped as she rubbed the back of her neck in an embarrassed fashion. "Well, keep it up -ze. You'll get it before the next time that we see each other."

"At least tell me how to get it to work!"

"I told you everything that you needed to know. Magic is different for everyone, you have to figure out the rest on your own."

"I knew it! You're just being lazy! You use that excuse when you don't feel like it!"

Marisa burst out in guffaws. "Ahahaha, nuts. Six months. Just a little more and it would have been seven. What finally gave me away?"

That surprised Naruto. "Wait. You were?"

"I was...what?" Now it was Marisa's turn to be confused.

"I told him what to say if you gave him another magic is different for everyone speech again," Reimu cut in.

Marisa gave Reimu a half-lidded stare and mouthed 'I'll remember this' before she turned to the now-glowering boy. She gave a nonchalant shrug. "No helping it I guess -ze. Looks like you can't use magic circles either. We'll try some other type of magic once I can pull my spellbooks from home."

"You're just saying that to avoid responsibility again!"

Marisa held up a hand, telling the belligerent boy to stop. "Listen kid. I have a good reason this time."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"I don't have to tell you. -ze"

"You will have to tell me though." Reimu commented from her spot.

"I don't have to tell you either!" Marisa defensively shot back.

"Did you forget what you were shouting when you stopped by in the first place?" Reimu asked, pointing out that Marisa was looking for a place to stay earlier.

"Ngh." Marisa recoiled as if struck.

"Hey yeah! What happened to your house?!"

A vein started throbbing on Marisa's forehead. "Shut it kid. Or whatever I'm going to do to those fairies, I'll do to you too -ze." It remained to be seen whether her irritation stemmed from being reminded of the incident or from the loudmothed brat in front of her.

"Yeah?!"

"Look. I like you kid. That's why I'll give you till the count of three to shut it, or else..."

"Whatcha gonna do about it?" Naruto taunted as he proceeded to blow a raspberry at the human magician in witch theme. Another vein pulsed on the blond magic user's forehead.

"3!" she shouted as she stood up.

"Hey?! What happened to 1 and 2?!" Naruto shouted as he also shot to his feet and prepared to run.

"Did you know that the shooting stars that we see falling from the sky are massive flaming rocks? Guess what I have?!" Marisa yelled at the same time.

BANG

That was the sound of someone slamming both palms on the tea table to get your attention. This was soon followed by a throwing motion.

Before Naruto and Marisa could jump from the sudden clap of noise, they were already on the ground clutching their heads. A large lump on both of their noggins developed where Reimu had beaned them with a yin yang orb.

"You," Reimu pointed at Naruto. "Get back to work. Now. I'm not going to say it again."

"How about...No." the boy shot back as he jumped back to his feet once again, his face set in a look of challenge still riled up from his argument with Marisa.

Reimu promptly held something up. It was a cup of instant ramen. Oddly enough, cup ramen was one of those really hard to find things here in Gensokyo. Most of them were brought in by Naruto actually.

She then held something else up in her other hand. It was one of her o-fuda, a talisman that she made using a slip of paper and inscribed with kami's power.

An expression of fear replaced the challenging expression that Naruto had earlier. "Wait, what are you planning to do?"

"Would you like to find out?" Reimu pleasantly asked, a beautiful smile on her face. To Naruto, it was the face of a demon and the voice of satan himself.

Quickly picking up the paper in front of him, he began concentrating again. He had no choice, he had seen what one of those things could do to a rock.

Marisa just watched quietly while Reimu and Naruto sniped at each other. Now that he was distracted, Marisa quickly sat down at the other end of the tea table before sidling up to the shrine priestess.

"Is it still on the loose?" Marisa quietly whispered as she reached out and snagged a Daifuku. She used it to gesture toward the boy, pointing out the ripped and bloodstained jumpsuit that the blond boy sported.

"It wasn't a Youkai."

"Really? Ah, shame -ze. I could use the excitement," the blond magician looked disappointed as she took a bite. Then she perked up again. "What're you guys up to?"

"Trying to get the brat to make a spell card," she turned to the one in question. "If he would stop fooling around..."

"I'm not!" the boy protested from the side.

"...he would have finished this before you arrived," Reimu lectured without missing a beat. "Kami-sama, he's making this harder than it should be."

Marisa smacked a fist into her palm as the answer came to her. "It's your spell card idea, right? It's finally done?"

"I came up with it..." a turtle tried to say. It's lonely voice was ignored.

"I just need to test it. Unfortunately, I don't have an opponent," Reimu groused, giving Naruto a pointed look.

The boy responded by sticking his tongue out and giving her a raspberry too. The shrine maiden ignored him.

"Let me see! Let me see!" Marisa happily begged, eager to see new magic.

"I guess," Reimu said in a voice that seemed to lack enthusiasm, but the smile on her face said otherwise. She held up the first spell card that she had created. The first spell card ever in the history of Gensokyo.

But nothing happened.

Confused, she looked at the card with a critical eye before realizing that it was blank. "Oh, one of the rules is that you can only use it once per battle. I guess I can't use it again until tomorrow or if I reenter a battle."

She pulled a sheet of contract paper from the top of the stack and wrote a few rules down.

After what seemed like a bit of staring, the onlookers watched as the paper glowed before it shrunk until it resembled a card.

Unlike the other two who had seen this already, Marisa was surprised and impressed. "Aha! Very pretty -ze! My turn!"

"...Okay." Reimu pulled the incomplete contract from in front of Naruto and placed it in front of Marissa. "Here, I've already done most of the work for you."

A scowl soon appeared on the blond witch's face when nothing happened.

"See Reimu!" Naruto shouted. "It's not just me!"

A vein throbbed on Marisa's forehead. Despite being hidden by the oversized witch's hat, it was clearly visible. "Eh? You're asking for a beating kid, aren'tcha?"

"Concentrate!" Reimu ordered.

Genji pushed himself onto the tea table. "You should understand how the cards work. The contract is a template. By supplying it with magic, it will create the desired pattern within the card."

"Shut up Genji," Marisa and Reimu both shouted at the turtle.

"No respect," the turtle muttered.

Reimu decided to offer some advice. "Look! Ignore the turtle. All you have to do is focus on the card and give it an elegant name then whatever you're thinking will appear."

"Oi Reimu! Don't you think your explanations are a bit off?" Marisa complained.

"It's how you're supposed to do it!" Reimu shot back. "...So just do it!"

"You're asking for the impossible!" Marisa sniped back.

It was time for Naruto to draw on his experience so far. "Hey! When I was making one..."

"You still haven't made one yet!" three voices shot back.

"Guh!" Naruto had no choice but to concede that point.

By now, everyone was shouting. The confrontations almost became physical before Naruto made an odd suggestion.

"How about hypnotism?"

"Are you stupid or something kid?" Marisa asked. Two others voiced their agreement immediately.

"Hey!"

"Errgh, whatever. I'm telling you this now kid, but if this fails I'm gonna kick your ass for making me look silly. So who here can do hypnotism?"

When none present made a move, Marisa turned to Naruto. "It's your suggestion, take responsibility."

"What? How?"

"Lucky for you, I read a book on this -ze. Listen carefully."

Marisa held up a finger. "First you're going to wave something in front of me and you'll continue to say, 'you're getting sleepy.' "

She held up a second finger. "Then, when I finally do zone out, you're going to say 'When I clap my hands, you will be able to create a spell card.' "

"After that, you'll clap your hands. And that should be it. Got it?"

Naruto had a confused expression on his face. "Uh...I guess so. What do I wave in front of you?"

Marisa had to think about that for a moment. "Do you have a pocketwatch?"

"You mean this? It doesn't work though." The pocketwatch was a gift from the Third. When it broke, Naruto begged the old man if he could take it. Even though the Third could have taken it to the jewelers to have it repaired so he could continue using it, he gave in and handed it to the Fourth's legacy. Naruto frequently carried it with him whenever he went outside even though it didn't work. It's not like he needed it to keep the time, he was just hoping that it would grant him superpowers like a certain silver-haired maid. So far nothing of the sort had happened yet.

"That'll do." She took it and held it by the chain before letting it swing back and forth. "Wave it like this. Got it?"

Naruto nodded.

"Good. Let's go."

Naruto took the pocketwatch back. "Uhh...well, okay. You're getting sleepy. You're getting sleepy."

After half an hour of swinging the pocketwatch back and forth, Reimu stood up and shoved Naruto aside as she ripped the watch from his grasp.

She was about to take over when she stopped and waved a hand in front of Marisa.

There was no response.

Only then did the three in the shrine finally realize that Marisa had a glazed expression on her face.

"How long has she been like this?" Reimu whispered with a low growl.

Naruto could only shrug helplessly. But from his actions, it could be concluded that she had been like that for quite a while now.

"Ow ow ow."

Reimu had grabbed his skull and was starting to squeeze. "...and you didn't notice at all?!"

"Why didn't you?!" Naruto shot back.

The shrine miko's grip tightened.

"Gaaah! Yes! Yes! It's my fault! It's my fault! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

The pressure slackened slightly.

"I'm glad that you understand. Now, can we get moving? I'd like this done by today."

"O-Okay." Naruto turned to Marisa and began the next step. "When I clap my hands, you will be able to create a spell card."

He paused before adding, "and you will teach Naruto a new spell this month."

"Plus you will make a donation to the Hakurei shrine."

"And you will call Genji, 'My Lord'"

Naruto stared at the other two with a deadpan expression, only to have the same stare returned with equal vigor, daring him to say a word. Unable to challenge them, he clapped his hands.

And then Marisa blinked several times before she wiped the drool leaking from the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand. "What happened?"

"Did it work?" Naruto asked.

Marisa ignored him as her eyes fell on Reimu. "Hey Reimu, before I forget. Rinnosuke was giving out coupons. Here, you can take my copy." All three bystanders stared at the scene before comprehension dawned on all of them in the same instant. Two of them flashed a smug grin toward the ticked off shrine maiden.

Instead of making her displeasure known, Reimu reluctantly turned her attention toward Marisa. Punishment could wait, this was more important. The two, not realizing that they were in trouble, also turned their attention to the last person in the room.

As for Marisa, her gaze had returned to the contract sitting in front of her. "Alright, let's give this a try," the blond magician said in a challenging tone as she rolled up her sleeves.

Soon after placing her hand on the contract, it started to glow before it smoothly morphed into a card.

"Whaddya know, the hypnotism worked -ze," Marissa happily said to the card as she picked it up. Emblazoned on the front of the card was a star with a tail of small stars. Two of the audience members were stunned in disbelief. The last one was jumping in joy.

Holding her other hand out in the shape of a gun, Marisa gathered some magic.

[Magic Sign: Shooting Star]

From her finger came a single star-shaped energy shot. It struck Naruto right in the forehead, eliciting a squawk of pain. The blond crumpled where he was standing earlier.

"Mm...Not bad," Marissa finally said.

"We need to add a rule so that a weak attack like this cannot be used." Reimu deadpanned as she checked the boy for signs of life. "He's alive though. So they're not fatal. Good."

"In that case Mistress, I propose an additional rule. The pattern must be equivalent to your power."

"Equivalent to your power?"

"How silly would it be for a simple fairy to fill the entire area with bullets? Above all else, they would not be able to provide enough magic to power the entire attack. But in a duel, a youkai must impress the other party. What better way to impress someone, and to end a duel quickly, than to show off how much power you are capable of?"

"Quickly is good. Okay. I'll add that." She said before she slapped Naruto several times. When his eyes finally opened, she plopped him in front of his contract. "Now see! Even Marissa managed to make one. It's your turn now. Be serious about it this time. In fact, wait. Let's just hypnotize you."

Of course he wasn't going to refuse. It worked with Marisa, right?

When he came to, the sky was becoming dark outside. That wasn't all that changed. Marisa now sported a scowl and a shiner on her left eye while Genji looked like he had been beaten several times. Reimu was looking away, shaking occasionally.

"What happened?" Naruto had to ask. "And why am I all wet?"

"Wet?" Reimu managed to squeak out. "Really?"

"Damn you Reimu, ending on Lake Monster..." Marisa muttered under her breath. "We could have done a Tsuchinoko next..."

"..." Genji didn't say a thing. Was he unconscious?

Naruto narrowed his eyes. Suspicious...

Reimu hurriedly covered her mouth. "You've been hypnotized. Make that card now." She finally managed to say from behind her hand before she quickly turned around and gave a muffled grunt. Was she...laughing?

Naruto didn't care. Upon hearing that the hypnotism was done, his attitude did a complete flip. "Really?! Okay then, prepare to be amazed. " he called out excitedly.

Only for nothing to happen.

"Hah! Still can't do it kid?" Marisa asked as she tauntingly waved a blank card in front of him.

Naruto scowled. "Why?!" he demanded.

Reimu stopped shaking and turned around, a scowl on her face. She threw her hands up into the air. "I don't have time for this." She pointed at the turtle, "You. Get ready." She pointed at Naruto, "You. Continue trying to make a card. If you still don't get it, Mari-"

She stopped and turned. Three pairs of eyes fell on the blond magician who was silently slinking toward the front entrance, her broom in hand.

"Marisa."

"No way -ze!"

"You'd better if you want that room."

"Hah! I don't need it anymore. Alice should be back at her cottage by now."

Reimu had an oddly thoughtful look on her face. "Didn't Alice disappear the day before yesterday? She'll be gone for a week."

"How did you know?" Marisa demanded. The numbers did match up. She had been looking for Alice for two days now, trying to find out more about the mushrooms she had found in the forest. It galled her, finding out that Reimu might already know what happened. Especially since she doubted Alice would go out of her way to let Reimu know.

"Secret," the shrine miko replied without hesitation. "Would you like to know? It's really amazing if I do say so myself."

Marisa grit her teeth and slowly forced out a nod, to which Reimu immediately pointed back to the tea table.

"Oi, at least give us some more contracts to work with -ze," Marisa bit out when she sat down.

Reimu stopped midway to the door. "Can't you make your own? The papers are right there."

It was the turtle that interjected with a shake of his head. "The contracts need your blessing, Mistress. Fakes will not work."

The shrine priestess clicked her tongue and returned to the table. "Troublesome." She took a few sheets of youkai contract paper from the stack and wrote down the rules on each one. After adding another rule, "The pattern must be equivalent to your power," she handed the small stack to the blond witch before she left through the entrance at the front of the shrine.

"Alright Genjii, now that you have your own card. Let's try this out." Reimu called from outside.

"Mistress!" the turtle called out as he waddled outside as well.

"What a drag -ze" Marisa moaned as Bubbles and Charms started to fill the air.

"Can I see?" Naruto asked as he pointed at the card that Marisa was still holding in her hand.

"Eh...why not?" Marisa handed the blank card to Naruto, only for their eyes widen in surprise when he took hold of it. The star had reappeared. The card could be used again.

"Gimme that," Marisa quickly swiped the card back. The image faded from view.

"Here," Marisa quickly stuck it between the boy's fingers again. The image reappeared. "Try it out."

"..." Naruto concentrated, but nothing happened.

"No luck?"

"What am I supposed to do?" the boy demanded in frustration.

"Feel around for a connection. Then push your magic through it and then the card will turn that magic into a spell."

"Connection...connection...doesn't feel like there is one..."

"Can't feel a connection? Really?"

"Yeah..."

Marisa frustratedly scratched a spot under her hat. "Rrgh. This doesn't make sense -ze."

Naruto stared at her, curious. "What?"

"If you hadn't completed that quest that I gave you years ago, I would think that you can't find a connection because you have no magic ability." Marisa groaned as she took back the card. Right before she was going to pocket it, she paused. Then, with a casual flick, the card was sliding to a stop in front of the boy.

Confused, Naruto looked at it and then Marisa, only to see her give him a confident grin and a thumbs up. "Keep it -ze. Instead of the spell circles, let's see if you can get this to work. And the best thing is that I don't have to teach you anything for another month. Guahahha"

Naruto scowled. "Hey!"

"Sorry kid. But I've fulfilled my promise," Marisa said with a shrug. "Take it...or leave it. I'm giving you something to learn and if you refuse you can't force me to teach you anything else.

She paused. "Why am I getting the urge to teach the brat something anyway?"

"?" Naruto stared at her, trying to figure out what she was mumbling.

Marisa's hand landed with a loud clap onto Naruto's shoulder. "Hey, brat. Aside from making it possible to create spell cards, what else did you order me to do?"

A thoughtful look appeared on Naruto's face. "Umm, that you would teach me something new?"

Marisa blinked. "That's it? That I would teach you more magic? You didn't ask me to clean your house or give you a back rub or anything?"

"No," Naruto repeated before his eyes narrowed "Why?"

"No reason," the blond-haired magician quickly said before she started rubbing the back of her head in an awkward manner, "Atchaa...now I feel kind of bad."

"Mari-"

"Eh, whatever. So, are you going to keep the card or not?"

"Mari-"

"Are you keeping the card?"

"What did you-"

"I'll take that as a no then," Marisa said as she reached forward.

**SLAP**

That was Naruto's hand landing heavily on the [Shooting Star] card. Neither of them noticed that the moment his hand touched the card, the card's pattern became visible again.

"I take it that you want it then?"

Naruto just glared challengingly at her.

"Suit yourself," Marisa said as she turned her attention to the fight outside. "And now I don't have to teach you for a while. Gyahahaha!"

"Hey!" Naruto started to protest before something seemed to blow up in his face, knocking him to the floor.

"You accepted, now shut up." Marisa carelessly said, blowing some imaginary smoke off of her finger..

Naruto jumped to his feet. "Like He-"

**Thwack!**

Naruto slowly picked himself up after face-planting the floor when something slapped his head from behind. "What the?!"

**Thwack! Smack! Pok!**

This time, after being clubbed from the side, rough bristles had swiped across has face. "SPPPLT! Hey! What the hell! Get away!"

Marisa casually picked her ear and stared outside with interest, ignoring the fight between Naruto and her broom going on in the background. She thought she had just heard a cry of pain from within the wavy beams of bubbles that were filling the air.

When the bubbles cleared, Reimu was on the ground clutching an arm.

"Guh, I guess you can interrupt my attacks now."

The turtle's eyes soon narrowed as a sinister grin seemed to appear. Genjii was starting to realize the implications of this new system. "Ho ho ho! With this, I can finally free myself from your oppressive rule!"

"What's that? You want to step it up a notch?! You? With the single spell card?!"

Reimu started to glow, and then the glow disappeared, manifesting in a massive sealing circle just to the left of Genji. Then it exploded.

It was a move that was simple yet devastating, if not fatal, against Youkai.

It violated the rules so Reimu did it without a card.

"Mistress! That's cheating!" the turtle protested, slightly singed from the attack but unharmed. Was Reimu in a forgiving mood?

"Heh? What's that? Did a smart-mouthed turtle accuse me, the humble Reimu, of cheating?"

She flicked her long hair behind her shoulder.

"Perhaps this turtle has forgotten that...the humble Reimu is his master? Surely this turtle may wish to say a word of thanks to the humble Reimu for granting him mercy and a place to stay?"

Reimu started to glow again as she pulled out a yin-yang orb from her robes and held it above her head.

Marisa's mouth suddenly dropped.

And then a massive clap filled the air, shaking everything that it touched.

"Tch," Reimu clicked her tongue in dissatisfaction.

"Hey! What the heck! That was my idea!" the blond magician shouted in outrage as steam billowed from the surface of the now-choppy pond. The product of a miss.

"Mistress I apologize! _I apologize_!" Genji screamed as he cowered on the ground, not caring if Reimu was going to do it again or not.

If he weren't busy wrestling with the broom, Naruto would have gaped at what had just happened a moment ago. Reimu had thrown a flaming Yin-Yang orb as large as she was and basically blew up the pond.

Marisa had seen it, however, and now she wanted credit for the idea. With her hand on another contract, she soon shrank it down to another spell card. Swiping it from the table with one hand, she used her other hand to pull out an octogonal block with eight trigrams placed in a circle on the front. This was her Hakkero, a powerful source of magical energy.

"Hey Reimu!"

[Love Sign: Master Spark!]

The Hakkero let out a cough, but nothing else. A failed spell.

Face morphing to a scowl, but not missing a beat, Marisa had the new card stored under her witch's hat while she brandished the Hakkero again.

[Master Spark!]

For a brief moment, a multi-colored laser, shot from Marisa's favorite object, pierced the encroaching darkness of the early twilight.

A turtle soon let out a shout as he was promptly enveloped by the massive beam of magic.

When the lightshow ended, the crispy-charred turtle let out a whimper of "why" before he collapsed in a dead faint.

"..."

"For some strange reason, I had the urge to call the geezer something respectful. It pissed me off," the blond magician explained as a hand embarrrassedly rubbed the back of her neck. Her expression turned challenging as she turned to Reimu. "Now then..." Without looking, she reached out toward the shrine. There was a conk and a cry of pain as her broom shot out from within the building before the handle slapped into her waiting palm. With one smooth motion, the witch was mounted on her broom and heading up into the sky where the stars were starting to appear.

"Ho?" the shrine miko half-lidded gaze and unpleasant smirk suggested amusement as she also started to float up into the sky.

Stars and charms filled the air, but there was no time to watch the new fight as Naruto soon felt the oncoming pangs of sleepiness. Even with the scratches on his face or that new lump and the throbbing pain on the back of his head, he was unable to resist as his eyelids felt like they were growing heavier by the second. With moments left, he was turning back to the tea table, struggling to nab and stash the card from Marisa and a handful of the contracts into an undamaged portion of his jumpsuit. He made sure to grab the contract that he considered faulty earlier.

Time's up.

He felt himself keel forward as his body relaxed. There was another thunk as his head smacked the tea table and then...darkness.

-o-o-o-

* * *

Naruto slowly opened his eyes and gazed up at a whitewashed ceiling that he didn't recognize. Where was he?

"He's awake." He heard someone say from the side. Turning to look, he saw a nurse leave the room before sliding the door closed behind her. Looks like he was in the hospital.

Confused and bored, Naruto just stared at the door. His patience was rewarded when the door slid open a few minutes later and the aged form of the Third Hokage slowly stepped inside.

"Give me a few minutes to speak with Naruto-kun," Hiruzen ordered someone behind him without turning around before he slid the door shut behind him.

"Naruto-kun. How are you feeling?" the Third asked as he approached the bed.

"Really good," the boy chirped, his eyes bright with happiness at having the old man visit. "When can I leave?"

The old man gave a chuckle and slowly shook his head. "Not until tomorrow morning. I'm afraid that the doctor has asked that you stay the night at least. You were in a bad state when you arrived."

"But I feel fine!" the boy started to protest.

With a slow up and down of his hand, the Third gestured to the exciteable boy to calm a bit.

"Please keep it down Naruto-kun," the Third finally said when he had the boy's attention again. "Visiting hours are over and it is time for the other patients to rest."

The boy slowly slumped back on his bed before he turned to the wizened old man. "Is Hanabi-chan okay?"

The Third smiled. "You'll be pleased to know that the Hyuuga heiress is fine. We apprehended Mizuki-sensei before he had a chance to try anything."

"He wouldn't have. He promised," the boy confidently said.

"I suppose he did," the Third mused before his gaze sharpened a little. "Naruto-kun."

Naruto couldn't help but quail under the stare.

"Did you feel strange anytime during the fight?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did you feel...angry?"

"Well yeah. I mean...he destroyed my rooftop garden. And I couldn't hit him. And he was promising to hurt Hanabi-chan after I died. I was really angry."

"Did it make you mad enough to want to kill him?"

"What? No!"

"Are you sure, Naruto-kun?" the Third probed again, the tone of his voice stressing the importance of this information.

Blinking, Naruto took an uncharacteristically serious expression as he paused to think about it some more. He finally nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I might've been really mad, but Mizuki-sensei was just having a bad day. No reason for me to want to kill someone over that."

"A good outlook indeed," the Third said with an amused chuckle before there was a soft knock on the door. He stood up. "Naruto-kun, it looks like it's time for me to leave. Now then, do I have your word that I will find you here in this bed in the morning?"

Naruto gave the esteemed leader of the village an extremely large grin and a thumbs up. His face almost looked like a fox's.

"Naruto," the Third warned.

"You got it old man," the boy cheekily replied with a salute.

"Good." the Third said before he stopped at the door and turned back. "If I find that you snuck out in the middle of the night, I will be very disappointed. Now, get some rest. You've had a long day."

With that, the Third turned off the light before stepping out of the room. The door slid closed with a clunk.

Despite the Hokage's advice, Naruto was too awake to fall asleep again, so he quietly laid there in the darkness listening to the deathly stillness hospital during the nighttime hours.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but his eyes opened when he heard the soft padding of slippers in the silence. They stopped in front of his door.

With the sound of wood against metal, the door slid open.

"Naruto?" someone whispered into the quiet room. Instead of waiting for a reply, the person stepped inside, and gently slid the door shut.

Curious, the aforementioned boy sat up to see who it was. Under the moonlight, it took him a moment to make out that the purplish-blue hair belonged to the girl of his dreams, Sakura.

"Naruto!" As if by magic, she was by his side in an instant, both of her hands tightly grasping one of his own.

"S-Sorry! Sorry Naruto Sorry! I'm so sorry! I tried to come. I really did!" she blubbered.

Naruto frantically gestured at the girl to keep it down.

She seemed to deflate a little. "..B-But thank goodness you're alive. What a relief. I'm so glad."

"..." To say that Naruto was confused was an understatement. Sakura had never shown worry for him before. Either of them.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?"

He shook his head no.

"What's wrong? Why haven't you said anything yet? *gasp* Don't tell me you're about to die. No! Not yet! Don't leave me!"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," the boy quickly said as he energetically pumped his right arm, "See?"

"But you didn't say anything about dying yet. You're dying, aren't you?" she accused.

"No no! I'm not." he hissed back, his voice barely remaining below acceptable levels.

"Really?"

"Really!"

The girl's lips formed a silent "O" and she finally relaxed.

Now that Sakura had fallen quiet, an awkward silence descended on the two. It was too quiet.

"I-/Sa-" Sakura and Naruto both started to say at the same time.

"..."

"You first," Naruto conceded.

Sakura shook her head no. "No, that's okay. I'm sure that you have something more important to say."

Unable to say no to her smile and trusting look, Naruto decided that it would be okay to go first. With that, he asked a question that had been bothering him. "Sakura-chan? What are you doing here? Aren't visiting hours over?"

"..." the smile disappeared immediately.

"..."

"...Sakura...chan?" the pink-haired girl asked in a hollow voice.

Confusion appeared on Naruto's face at the strange turn of events. "...Eh?"

"...Did you just call me Sakura-chan?"

"...I...did?" Naruto hesitantly answered. Something was wrong with Sakura.

"I'll give you one chance," the girl said with a tight voice. "Who am I?"

"...Aren't you...Sakura...chan?"

Sakura punched him.

The action knocked Naruto back into his bed. He laid there, one hand holding his throbbing cheek. What happened?! What was going on?

"Ow!" the girl whimpered as she clutched her hand.

"Sakura-chan! Are you okay?!"

"A-Again! You called me Sakura-chan again! You stupid dog! I'm not that frivolous pink-haired fool."

"Take that back Sakura-chan! You're being mean to- Eh?! Wait! Then that means..."

If the pink haired girl was angry before, she was now in his face. "I come to see you and this is the thanks that I get?! You should be on your knees worshipping the ground that I stand on you pathetic excuse for worm-feed!" She stamped the ground several times to emphasize her point.

"Shh shhh-" Naruto was frantically waving his arms up and down in front of him in an attempt to tell her to keep it down.

"And for your information, I'm not visiting. Do you see this gown?" she pulled on the hem of the thin gown that she was wearing.

Only then did Naruto realize that Sakura was dressed in a hospital gown.

The girl had a proud half-smirk on her face. "Hmmph. It seems that the stupid dog does have a single brain cell after all."

"What happened? Are you okay Hime-chan?"

"Ask **Her**!" the pink haired girl shot back before she stomped out, closing the room's door with a slam.

There was a second of silence before, "H-hey! Unhand me right this inst-"

Fearing the worst, Naruto leapt out of the hospital bed, wincing as the IV drips were ripped right out of his arms. He ignored the pain, the urgency of the situation prodding him to reach the door in less than a second. The door took even less time than that to open. By the time he could poke his head outside however, he caught sight of a nurse turning the corner. She seemed to be carrying something.

He never realized someone was behind him until he tried to chase after the nurse. It happened in the blink of an eye. Right when a cold shiver shot up his spine telling him to turn around and defend himself, there was a sharp chop to the back of his neck. Blackness claimed him immediately.

-o-o-o-

* * *

It was nighttime still. There were crickets chirping in the surrounding forest.

He was standing among the hedges in the garden behind the gate to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Flandre was staring down at him from the balcony on the second floor.

He saw her jump off...

"na-"

With one smooth motion, he had pivoted so that he was now facing the other way.

"ru-

And then his legs flashed like lightning as he shot off into the night, right for the gate.

toooOoOoOO!"

**POW!**

-o-o-o-

* * *

When the stars finally cleared his vision, he was in bed again. Staring up at the white-washed ceiling darkened by the night, he realized that he was back in the hospital bed. It felt like the IV needle was back in his arm again.

He tried to get up, only to realize that he couldn't. He had been tied down and someone seemed to be in the room with him.

"I apologize. Orders from the Hokage, you are not to leave the room," the person in the room finally spoke up. Naruto couldn't tell if it was a guy or a girl speaking.

"Nnngh?!" Naruto tried to struggle, but the knots were well made, he couldn't move. "But what about Hime-chan?!" he called out.

"Are you referring to the girl that was here earlier?"

"Yes."

"She is in no danger."

"Where is she then?"

"She has been returned to her room."

"...Is she okay?"

"Yes." The ninja said before standing up. "Get some rest, you will be freed from your bindings in the morning."

"Wait. Where are you going?"

"I was never here." The ninja mysteriously said before adding, "Kidding. My shift is over. I just had some messages to pass on before leaving."

By now, the ninja was standing by the window.

"Oh. Please keep it quiet. This is a hospital." the ninja said before disappearing in a flurry of leaves. Naruto thought he heard a "or else" afterwards, but it was so quiet that he dismissed it as his imagination.

He started to struggle. Since he was wide awake, he should do something in the meantime.

Only...the ropes were really well done.

Too well done.

Nggh, he couldn't get out. It made him wish that he spent more time practicing rope escape techniques. Tied by rope twice in two days now and unable to break free...

When he finally gave up and until he fell asleep again, Naruto spent the rest of his time attempting to spontaneously develop psychic powers so that he could add another mark on his apartment's wall without having to leave this room.

-o-o-o-

* * *

Chapter 2 End

Next time! Chapter 3: Double Booking

-o-o-o-

* * *

**Reimu Hakurei**  
_Tends the Hakurei shrine and manages the Hakurei barrier. She isn't that much older, but she's sort of a big sister to Naruto. She would fall under the evil mentor big sister type.  
_- Series: Touhou  
- Species: Human

Traits:  
- Straightforward - Straight to the point. May step on toes to get there.  
- Optimistic - Wants a peaceful future without conflict.  
- Curious - Wants to know more about things that are different.  
- Fair - does not favor Youkai or Humans. Whether they're human, youkai, or gods, Reimu gives them no particular respect or disrespect.  
- Dislikes work - Despite being feared by Youkai, she could be so much stronger. Instead, she spends most of her training time napping, lazily watching the background, and sipping tea.  
- Genius - A lot of her talent is natural.  
- Temper - Reimu is pretty quick to anger.  
- Good intuition - Can discern accurate conclusions about what others are thinking from little evidence.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Marisa Kirisame**  
_A human magician that lives in the Forest of Magic. She's neighbor's to Reimu, Alice, Rinnosuke, and a certain group of fairies. Her home serves as a magic shop and a borrowed items repository. She isn't that much older, but she also acts like a big sister to Naruto. Hmm, I suppose she would fall under the hands-off carefree big sister type.  
_- Series: Touhou  
- Species: Human

Traits:  
- Straightforward - Straight to the point. May step on toes to get there.  
- Quick to act - Gets an idea, then acts on it without thinking about whether she's right or wrong until later.  
- Habitual Liar - Lies frequently. However, she isn't trying too hard to hide the fact that she's lying. So it's easy to tell if she's she's a frequent, but horrible liar.  
- Violent - upset her, and she'll retaliate with ten times the force.  
- Tomboyish - if she uses physical violence, she's going to punch you. Not slap you. If it's a war of words, forget it. She'll somehow turn it into a fight.  
- Condescending - Can come across as looking down on others.  
- Has difficulty expressing sympathy / Selfish. Cares more for herself than others, so she can be a bit thick to the plight of others.  
- Hard Worker - Marisa considers Reimu a rival. Like Kakashi and Gai. Where it comes naturally to Reimu, Marisa has no innate abilities so she has to do the legwork to understand and make spells work.  
- Annoyance - Can be found in places where she should not be. Can be doing things that can be frustrating for others...like "borrowing" their stuff.  
- Laid back - Marisa isn't the type to worry about things.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Genji**  
_A really old flying turtle.  
_- Series: Touhou  
- Species: Turtle Youkai

-o-o-o-

* * *

Okay then. As I said in the previous chapter, this is a reboot of the original version of Naruto the Combat Butler. I liked that version of the story, but the readers were right, it wasn't the best place to start the story. Anyway, while I still don't make Naruto a butler in the first two chapters, I've taken the liberty of leapfrogging the original storyline by about a week so that we start off with a bit of action. Unfortunately that still leaves one critical point from the reviews...Naruto will continue munching on dirt very often. I don't hate him. I'd really like to help, but if we consider the canon timeline...Naruto really doesn't have any ninja skills or knowledge to help him curb-stomp his opponents. He does have his pranking skills however...

Feel free to suggest revisions to what's done so far. I benefit from an extremely low story upload overhead. I can type up the story using yWriter and convert the rtf output to a ffnet compatible html using a click of my own special program. It takes like three additional clicks, but 99 percent of the Bold/Italic/Underline/Center/HR formatting is kept and I can easily edit each story section offline. No need to deal with the hassle of the online editor, even if it seems to work okay.

So the technical side is easy for me, all that's left is the storytelling side. I'm getting better, but I know that it isn't enough yet.

-o-o-o-o-o-

This was a setup chapter explaining some rules for Danmaku. In a way, I left it open ended so it's possible to completely forget the rules and have no problems understanding the story. In addition, I did mention it, but I did not stress that dueling should place an emphasis on beauty over power. There is a two-fold reason. For one, I'm going to have a difficult enough time explaining the attacks in ways that the reader can visualize. For another, the beauty rule is in place because all Touhou characters are female...even the bug youkai. Beauty is popular with the girls. Naruto is a guy in this story, last time that I checked. The real reason why I didn't emphasize it was because I had a tough time writing a story around the original rules. Now that that part's done, I plan to revise it to emphasize beauty. I still won't be able to describe the bullet patterns, but the reason behind dueling by danmaku will actually MAKE SENSE!

The dueling rules are a modification from dizzy dot pestermom dot com /?p=danmaku (who takes it from en dot touhouwiki dot net / wiki / Perfect_Memento:_Draft_of_Spell_Card_Rules).

(What else?)  
(1) As a sidenote, turtles don't have hair. Hair is a mammal thing. Therefore, this turtle with a beard, he's weird.  
(2) I wanted to use "Baka inu!" instead of "Stupid Dog!" so much.  
(3) Contrary to popular belief, the red dawn mentioned in the chapter title is unrelated to Akatsuki. I'm referring to something else.  
(4) I was debating whether or not I should end it at a cliffhanger. But then I realized that it's a small event. Sakura isn't in any danger. No need to ham it up.  
(5) I'm thinking of adding a small recap to the beginning of each chapter.

-o-o-o-o-o-

(Further Reads)  
Mm, for those Muv Luv fans, I actually have a great example to study when it comes to story design of this nature. Let's see, I know what's going to happen, I have a hero, and I have a wide and varied cast. I also have a hero who can potentially kick ass. The story that I plan to study is "**Muv Luv: One Last Time into the Loop" **by **PaulXion**. Let's see if I can come up with any interesting design ideas by studying that story.

-o-o-o-o-o-

(Acknowledgements)  
**Minders** for a very useful PM pointing out some unclear points. I've made some changes to the first two chapters to clarify some things that I've been throwing around but did not fully expand upon. This includes the kill count in chapter 1, the hypnotism in chapter 2, and the destinations that Naruto shows up in in Chapter 1. I'm choosing to hold off on a comment about Naruto's magical ability. I think not explaining why can somehow enhance the story.

This next tidbit, I really shouldn't be mentioning. However, **Minders **points out that, unlike a paperback novel where you can keep reading until the end, in a fanfiction updated monthly the chapter-by-chapter approach will not allow me to hammer the reader with crucial information. So I include this as a reference. The story centers around a few hard rules regarding Naruto's visits to Gensokyo. I've shown them already in the first two chapters, and I'll repeat them as often as I can without sounding repetitive because Naruto's jumping between **worlds **is extremely important to this story. Several key events will require items from the other world.  
Rule 1: Naruto appears when he's sleeping or unconscious  
Rule 2: If Naruto dies, he cannot show up in Gensokyo again until the next day.  
Rule 3: Naruto can only take items that he has on him at the time. Including his clothes. Not everything transfers over. Not everything transfers back. Most of what he moves depends on what he **desires **to bring over. In theory, as long as he knows about it he can move it. It doesn't have to be a **physical** item (see Rule 5)  
Rule 4: Naruto's physical condition transfers to Gensokyo. Whatever state that he's in does not transfer back (If perfectly fine in Ninja Realm, he can be Heavily injured / Dead in Gensokyo, and still be perfectly fine upon returning to Ninja Realm).  
Rule 5: (Not mentioned) Kyuubi is considered an item. Without knowing about Kyuubi, the demon fox cannot be brought over. Naruto retains fast, but not accelerated healing, from being an Uzumaki. Naruto cannot achieve berserker state without Kyuubi.

-o-o-o-

* * *

Last Update For This Chapter: 12/4/2013


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